Wear and tear: survival tips for those who are accustomed to 'pulling on themselves'
'25.08.2020'
Source: Lifehacker
These not too pleasant, but necessary actions, will return you peace of mind, writes Lifehacker.
Psychologists and sociologists so often talk about the need to take care of yourself that the very concept of this concern is becoming more and more blurred. Usually, it means something that brings us pleasure. “You are completely exhausted at work. It's time for you to take care of yourself. Take up yoga. Take a walk, the weather is so nice outside! Go to a beauty salon. Take a fragrant bath. Grow! "
It is very important to pamper yourself from time to time. When you're feeling overwhelmed, sometimes you have to literally force yourself to rest and have fun. Sometimes it resembles a bitter pill that is terribly reluctant to drink, although it is necessary for recovery.
But are we always enough just enjoyable activities? In fact, self-care is much broader. And often it means not at all pleasant things. This concern is associated with working on yourself, with adult actions and difficult decisions, for the adoption of which you may be condemned. But sooner or later, you will realize that you cannot do without these solutions. So how do you take full care of yourself?
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- Take care of your body
Going to the dentist is an unpleasant experience. Is there even one person on Earth who likes them? Many of us visit the dentist at best every three years. And it's not even worth talking about going to a gynecologist, urologist and similar delights.
The hardest part is forcing yourself to go to the doctor when you are depressed or worried about something. The depressed part of you doesn't care that you might be sick. In fact, she doesn't give a damn about anything. In a state of anxiety, making an appointment is generally scary. What if they tell you that something is wrong with you? What if the nurse is rude to you? What if the doctor puts pressure on you? What if you have to go to the doctor alone for the rest of your days because you can't find your soul mate? Yes, it sounds silly, but sometimes many of us have similar thoughts.
As you age, you gradually begin to question your invulnerability. You understand that you still have to catch some sores.
In this regard, self-care means that you need to see a doctor in a timely manner when you feel that something is wrong with you, and also not to forget about preventive visits to the doctor. Even if you consider yourself a superman and it's hard for you to admit that sometimes you need medical help.
- Don't be afraid to refuse
Sometimes it can be very difficult to say no. Especially if you are used to achieving your goals and doing everything carefully. It’s not easy to change jobs that are not right for you, give up a tough relationship, give a friend a dog you don’t have time to care for. You have to admit that you are not coping and that something is beyond your capabilities. And this is extremely unpleasant.
When psychologists advise you to set boundaries, avoid overwhelming stress, and not impose excessive obligations on yourself, they seem to be talking about simple and obvious things. In fact, it’s not fun to explain to your boss why you are increasingly taking sick days off. It’s even less gratifying to finally admit that you’re not up to a full-time job and leave your current job.
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It is important to understand that sometimes, in order to take care of yourself, you need to ignore the possible negative assessment of others and realize what you need.
Yes, you can feel weak, lazy, and irresponsible. But deep down, you will know that you are doing the right thing. And over time, you will only be convinced that you have made the right choice.
- Ask for help
Often, in order to ask someone for help, you need to overcome your fears and get out of your comfort zone. It's really not that easy. You can never accurately predict other people's reactions. They have the right to refuse you.
And even if you have wonderful relationships with family and friends, asking for help is still not easy. You will be worried about making your parents worry about you, whether your depression will be passed on to your friends. Or people close to you may think that their care and love are not enough for you, that they are doing something wrong. It may feel like you have to choose between silently enduring your pain and bringing pain to others.
But this is a misconception. Your loved ones will worry much more if you hide the reasons for your worries from them. Yes, the art of correctly asking for help needs to be learned. But if you try to do this, you will realize that things are not really that scary.
- Work on relationships
Sometimes this also needs to be done to take care of yourself. Working on relationships means honestly and openly telling your loved ones what you need, what you want, and what you don't want. In addition, you should do your best to support the people you love and show them your love.
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Even if you are depressed and you literally don't care about anyone or anything, it doesn't make you the center of the universe and doesn't give you the right to behave like a complete asshole.
Take care of your loved ones, because these are the people who care about you.
- Don't forget about financial matters
Everything is simple and clear here. Pay your bills. Sometimes finances are very difficult to start controlling. Especially if you can't pull yourself together in other matters. Sometimes it can be scary to even check the status of your bank account, because then you will judge yourself for how much money you spent on useless things or dinners in a cafe.
Find a way to track your spending. If you can be sure that you have enough money for everything you need, then you will feel much more confident.
If you succeed in all of the above, you can be proud of yourself. At some points in our lives, taking care of yourself in such unpleasant ways is especially difficult. But you can do it.
