The article has been automatically translated into English by Google Translate from Russian and has not been edited.

We are not a couple, but we are raising children together: who are the platonic parents


A source: Air force

The traditional family is increasingly being replaced by new forms of relationships. One of them is the joint upbringing of children by people between whom there is no romantic relationship. We offer several such stories.

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43-year-old nurse Charles Born, who lived with her husband in Philadelphia, began to think seriously about children in 2014, writes Air force... Considered adoption first. But, having heard from a colleague about the concept of “platonic fatherhood”, I decided to create a profile on the Modamily website. This resource helps people who are planning to start a family unite.

Soon he was contacted by another user of the site, 40-year-old psychologist Nisha Nayak. Over the next several months, Bourne and Nayack met over coffee and pizza to learn more about their mutual desire to become parents.

In November 2015, Nayack underwent IVF and conceived two twins. Now Bourne and Nyack are the common parents of Ella and Vaughn.

Platonic parenting, or kinship, refers to a couple who are not romantically involved with each other, but who are raising a child together.

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The reasons for becoming platonic parents are very different. Sometimes this type of relationship is chosen by representatives of the LGBT community who do not want to raise children in a traditional heterosexual family, as in the case of Born and Nayak.

Long-standing friends can also decide on joint parenting. At one time, such a decision was made by Natasha Bakht and Linda Collins from Canada. The girlfriends won the lawsuit and created a precedent in Ontario's family law, which recognized Collins parental rights to the son of Bakht.

Previously, Canadian law recognized only partners in a marriage relationship as parents. But the women were able to convince the jury that granting Collins paternity was consistent with the “act in the best interests of the child” legal principle.

Some people think that if the parents live separately, life “in two houses” is difficult for the child. Bourne and Nayack live 20 minutes apart and take turns spending time with their children, as divorced couples usually do.

Moving and other difficult issues that are important for children are solved with the help of a family psychotherapist.

Rachel Hope raised her first child with a platonic partner, he lived in a separate house, but in a common area. Hope believes that this is the best option when parents live nearby, but not under the same roof.

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Many are concerned that the children in such a family lack the experience of parental love. According to Hope, this is not a problem, children become witnesses of a romantic relationship with one of their parents or other couples around.

There are no official statistics on the number of such couples yet, but over the past ten years the online community of platonic parenthood has been growing steadily.

The site Modamily was founded in 2011 by Ivan Fatovich. The idea came to him when he saw how many of his friends and colleagues want to have a child, but do not have a permanent partner.

Today the platform has 25 active members from all over the world. According to Fatovich, about a hundred children were born to partners who found each other through his website. Overall, he notes that overall parenting sites such as FamilyByDesign and have about 000 registered people.

In the United States and other countries, the law is gradually adapting to this new type of relationship.

In 2013, California Governor Jerry Brown signed a bill that allows more than two people to be legally recognized as parents of a child. Several other US states still allow this option either by law or through legal proceedings.

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