Male view: why marriage will not lead you to anything good
'23.09.2019'
The business almost turned out ... Although it was not a bad idea, but after a thorough reflection, they decided not to risk it, fearing for their safety. I do not know who would have attempted to assassinate them, but perhaps these fears are not in vain. And now - everything in order.
A lawyer friend of mine decided to start a business. Young people planning to get married should be consulted on the subject of ... the rationality of entering into this very marriage. He has been dealing with divorces for twenty years already. And who, no matter how he does, see and understand (better than many of us) what is happening in this industry. He invited another specialist and together they brought the idea to the final stage. In the beginning - in words and on paper. We decided who would do what, determined the cost of the consultation, what would happen there, how and where to advertise, and so on.
But before officially opening, they decided to run a series of experimental sessions - and invited twenty-one couples to an hour-long meeting. They selected those who finally decided to join the knot. Many have already had weddings, guests have been invited, an orchestra, flowers, a hall, a limousine, photographers, videographers ... a huge and exciting procedure. The car is running, a lot of money has been paid.
We talked with all the couples. Explained that they are testing a business. And since they are guinea pigs, it won't cost them anything. They were very happy and rushed to a free consultation, not really understanding where they were going and why. The couple were sure that the risk was zero, and they could only benefit from the event.
Results. Out of twenty-one couples, twenty canceled the weddings: they lost money, they made scandals to each other. Yes, such as you, maybe, only in the movies saw and heard. The twenty-first couple did not cancel the wedding, as they had already gone too far in the preparation process and decided not to notify their parents and guests about their plans, so as not to shock. But they agreed that a month or two after the wedding in the beautiful cathedral in the Italian city of Genoa (I don’t know why it was there, but the groom’s parents insisted, and everyone else agreed) they would divorce quietly, without noise, screaming and fighting. It happens in life. There was love. Got married. Love has passed. They ran away.
The result, as you can see for yourself, is impressive. One hundred percent hit. Under the terms of the agreement with the above comrades, I can’t reveal all the secrets, but I’ll try to share some ideas. They are still thinking about this business and just in case do not want to share inside information.
So. What do we know about each other at the time of marriage? A bit, right?
Although those unmarried young people who had already lived under the same roof for several years, managing one household, seemingly, were simpler. They even think that the stamp in the passport (or whatever other document, depending on the country of residence and local laws) should not change anything.
On the subject: Male look: why do we make lovers and does marriage need a second chance
Nature, or someone else there, made sure that pairing happens to us at a relatively young age, when the hormone is on the move, falling in love is at its peak, sex is hot and all-encompassing. And the general feeling is that you cannot live without this partner. Or vice versa - that you need it, like air, so that you can live at all.
It is a well-known fact that the marriage age for today's youth is shifting from the former twenty closer to thirty and even later. Although, of course, not all, and not everywhere. So that's it. In the wake of these feelings (call them whatever you like), the guys want to grab each other and not disengage for the next hundred years. Or longer. I'll make a reservation right away - some people succeed. Do not take our parents or grandparents as an example. These examples are bad, though ... good. They converged on a different wave and ground, and did not diverge for other reasons.
So. Young people agreed. Strongly agreed. And they began to live, live and make good. Gradually, new, chilling details begin to reveal themselves, about which neither he nor she, of course, sleep or spirit. For obvious reasons, I can’t list them here, but I think you will guess some of them yourself.
This can be understood and it is easy to believe. What it will be difficult to believe for some of us is that everything can break down and those who have lived together for more than one year, have children, and everything seems to be repaired. Live well, exemplary family. So no, she (and sometimes him) wants to finally legitimize her relationship. The reason is unimportant: the birth of a child and the desire that the father and mother inscribed in the document be a husband and wife, or some other. And so, despite the years of coexistence (or a happier life together) shortly after the legitimization of that very residence, they diverge. And this is not an isolated case, there are many of them. Again - the information is from the reliable hands of the lawyer who is breeding them, and he knows all the details in this regard.
And here the question is completely competent: and if they did not go to sign, would they still run away or not? The answer is: probably, not would have fled. Why, think for yourself. Probably figure it out. The direction of thoughts is: what happened, why they lived together, what held them back, what changed after the official marriage (if you think that something has changed)? How could this affect the already established relationship and bring to an early divorce? Good, I think, a charge for the mind for all who can and love to use it.
Summary.
Without trying, you won't know. When it is a peach or borscht to try in a new restaurant, then it is understandable and not too dangerous, in extreme cases, the stomach will not hurt for long. Immediately - a test on the topic of wedding and love, and it will be more serious. For some, divorce is worse than a scar on your face. To be honest, it's a scar on my heart. You will wear it all your life and feel it for a long time. For some, the first divorce is so exhausting that they are no longer persuaded to repeat the experiment with marriage for any price. It may take them a dozen years to fully recover after she and her husband and two lawyers gutted each other to the point of exhaustion - for their former love and for their own money, given to lawyers voluntarily ... And this, as you know, is the peak of human stupidity in all cases (well, except perhaps when a young model takes money from a multimillionaire of any age, and his lawyer tries to minimize the damage, which rarely succeeds).
On the subject: How many years will you live in love and happiness
And they never opened a business. Frightened by statistics. If only half had remained in your opinion and if this half had gone to marry in friendly ranks, perhaps they would have opened it. And such a total success ... scared them. And the guys decided that for sure they would greatly cross the road with their project, break the structure of many lives and many businesses around nursing weddings. After all, the fame of their "success" among the people will spread quickly. They were frightened that some offended, insulted, having lost money, honor, name, clientele, something else, a comrade on a nervous basis would buy a machine gun and, according to a well-known scenario, would appear in the office of “troublemakers” and crumble everyone ... to the stuffing for okroshka ( a bad joke).
After all, probably, knowing in advance that it does not grow together, it is better not to start? Although, perhaps, fate cannot be deceived. And if you’re supposed to step on a rake, you’ll come anyway, even walking in the desert, where this rake should not be.
So the idea of a good business died in conception. But the thoughts remained. And with some I, trying to get around the prescribed prohibitions, I tried to acquaint you. And what you didn’t say, I’m sure you’ll figure it out yourself. Tea, not children already. Yes, and probably married, and who - and more than once. And you probably heard something about divorces, or maybe they themselves managed to go through the procedure of wisdom and sobering up - and get out of purgatory alive ...
Personally, I think so.
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