The article has been automatically translated into English by Google Translate from Russian and has not been edited.

Male view: how an intelligent woman can make her husband successful

Sergey Evelev

writer, TV and radio host

'22.12.2020'

We were repeatedly told that behind every successful man there is always a woman responsible for this ... I decided to reflect on this topic too.

Photo: Shutterstock

But to begin with, I will voice the following question: why do you think there is a problem with marriages in the world and the number of divorces not only grows every year, but also exceeds the number of non-divorcing couples? This is a serious matter, since the issue, you understand, is of national importance. The family, believe it or not, it is nothing more than a unit of society. And if this cell ceases to exist, then society, as a whole, will have a bad time.

There are many problems with marriage, but I will consider two. By the way, millions of psychologists are seriously and regularly engaged in this topic. But, judging by the divorce statistics, so far, unfortunately, not very successful.

So. He thinks that she will remain in marriage, in life and forever - just the way he met her. And she knows exactly which one she will fold out of him, cutting off the unnecessary ... How Leonardo created his David ...

Briefly about the first postulate. She will not remain so. Firstly, it has never been like this. That you, my friend, had bad eyesight. You saw what is not, its airiness, singularity, magic, softness, kindness, simplicity, sincerity, warmth ... And forty-eight more barrels of prisoners, which were not even there. She ate unusually beautifully, and slept soulfully, and breathed magically. And she didn't need to go to the toilet for ordinary human affairs. Fairies don't need toilets. They feed on the sun and kindness. And, therefore, their waste is only good and sunny. Ha ha ha.

And you, my friend, invented everything for yourself in the midst of a love illness. So it's your fault. Yes, she tried to show the best that is in her, and, accordingly, hide what she should not show. And she, since you reached marriage, did it. And now the trap has slammed, so at least she thinks. You can already take off the fairy dress and put on your own, Cinderella or not, everyone decides for herself ... That's it, the hunt is over, the victim is ringed, the job is done. You can no longer show off and be yourself. Not those whom he invented for himself, but those who were born. And there, for sure, besides the airy, unearthly and amazingly beautiful, there is something else. And having familiarized himself with this something, the former bewitched groom lives in complete bewilderment, not understanding how he overlooked ... And where he looked at all.

On the subject: Between smart and beautiful: why we get imperfect partners

On the other hand, it turns out even more interesting.

She, as a great architect, having immediately considered the material suitable for marriage and architecture in it, has long prepared a list of clarifications and improvements, work on which will begin immediately in the morning after the wedding. Don't worry, not before. It used to be dangerous, he can go on strike, take a bite at the bit ... and gallop out of the stall ahead of time in search of another sculptor. And this, you understand, is not part of the current plans.

There are two scenarios here and both are imperfect. Or he will allow her to remake himself, but one day, looking at the improved version, he will understand that he does not like this new image. And there will be a scandal. Or he will never go on strike, submitting to its interpretation. But then, necessarily, on some day, after completing the “construction” and bringing the conceived image to perfection, she herself will understand that he is bored with her, and that this is not what she wants now. And the “master” will start thinking about the following. Many women, having completed their next project, immediately begin to think about a new, fresh one.

So what am I talking about, my friends?

I'm talking about where I started. Behind each accomplished gentleman - invariably and sometimes imperceptibly stands an intelligent, far-sighted lady with a set of remarkable diplomatic qualities. She does a similar job of “improving” the character, but uses completely unexpected tactics. No theory or fantasy here. I know exactly what I'm talking about. There are several such pairs in front of me, and I have been closely watching them for more than a dozen years. Husbands are different there, but wives are equally brilliant. They put their husband (deserving or not - another question) on such a pedestal that from there, from above, it should be difficult for him to see what is happening here on this sinful earth. None of the aforementioned wives miss ANY, even the tiniest, opportunity during the day to tell the world how lucky she is with her husband (mind you - not the other way around, how lucky he is with his wife).

They shower their chosen ones with countless compliments. They come up with such advantages that poor husbands have not even read about in books, not that they can see them in themselves. The game, it would seem, is rather stupid and losing, since it should be impossible to convince a person of the presence of something that actually does not exist, and why? But no. Works like a clock. Nice watch, Swiss. Hearing exceptionally good to himself, receiving compliments almost out of the blue and gratitude for every little thing, he (a creature, as it turned out, perfectly amenable to training) gradually becomes a self-confident person. And this is the main thing. This is generally all that most people lack. It doesn't matter who he is: a rat catcher, a chimney sweep, a violinist or a cabinetmaker. He carries himself as a great gift of fate to the whole world and ... (and here is an unexpected twist) does his best to match the image he is wearing.

Yes, yes, I know there are exceptions. There are cases when it hurt the peasant. He is arrogant, lazy, wants only to lie on the couch, and so that everyone around, since he is such an important swag, beat the tap ... Yes, I know those. But, oddly enough, they are a minority. And among those about whom their wives out loud, in person, in front of everyone, and at home, when no one hears, they also (this, by the way, the most difficult and rare) constantly say that they were incredibly lucky in life, as they managed to snatch such incredible gift, most male comrades - believe it or not - try to match.

Cunning, not without guile, deception, a role imposed on him. She is a sucker, a fox-Alice, an actress ... I agree. It's like that. But the result is important. She is happy to be running around with her “king”. He is happy that he is a king. And what is interesting ... She, albeit not immediately, but becomes a queen under the king. He is beginning to be seen as “king” not only by her, but also by others. Why? Because he gradually gets used to behaving like a “king”.

Okay, let's forget about the king and get back to earth.

The violinist begins to play better when everyone around says that he could give lessons to Paganini. At first, naturally, he does not believe, and thinks that they are laughing at him. But time and the fact that more and more people are talking about it, does his job and he tries his best. What else do you need? Diligence, attention, diligence and self-confidence. Nothing more. The rest will correct itself and improve too. You can be sure.

Therefore. Dear girls, citizens and ladies. If you want your husband to fly (and, alternatively, take you on the flight), having tried all the other options before you start thinking about divorce, try this one. The danger is small. There are few options. Either it won't take off at all, or it will take off, but it won't take you with it. But this is not fatal. You already thought about a divorce. But the third option is not completely excluded. Let's count on him. What if it works out and you soar into the sky together? Don't thank later. It will all be your handiwork, and no one else's. But I warn you - this is work. Not always easy and pleasant.

On the subject: Male gaze: why it is so difficult to meet your destiny

Finishing touch. How to do it. Without closing your eyes to everything that you do not like, choose one that - YES - you like. And water this bush from morning to evening, seeing in a stunted (at first) small cactus - a huge, mighty lemon-nut tree or coconut-strawberry palm. Let it be anything: if not the ability to play the trumpet, then the ability to repair stools or wash dishes. Tie your laces or tie. The ability to whistle or move the eyebrows threateningly. Any crap will do. I'm not kidding.

And… I know, I know, it sounds silly and too mundane. Find one thing and work with it. Then you can find the second, and then the third. Convince him that he is a master, which are few, and watch how he turns into a master before your eyes. And it does not turn - decide whether to live with patience or get divorced without suffering. There are many masters around. You will find another and you will sing of his merits ... Or not. It's up to you to decide, because you will also have to live with him.

I wish you all good luck, fun and joy from every passing day.

If you want to talk with me about it - go to my page in facebook.

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