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Opinion: why the US does not like 'brides'


Source: Yandex Zen

In the immigrant crowd, two categories of people do not like: “DV-Schnikov” and “brides”, ie girls who came to the United States in search of a husband, writes the author of the blog "ABC of an Immigrant" on Yandex Zen.

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In the immigrant crowd, two categories of people do not like: DV-schnikov (who won the green card in the lottery - according to other immigrants, lottery winners are given too easily) and “brides”, ie. girls who came to the United States in search of a husband.

It doesn’t matter what visa. Someone set themselves the task of marrying for six months (until the tour is over), someone travels home and back to the United States, and, having found their happiness, they come by the bride’s visa (K).

Girls from Russia, Belarus, Ukraine attract the attention of local men. Local girls can neglect the right clothes (they don’t mind that the fat roller can hang over the jeans), shaving their legs and armpits, and washing their hair. I am not saying that this applies to everyone. Not. But our girls are always more well-groomed (nails, hair, clothes) and generally make a good impression. But only American men can consider all this as accessibility.

And here she is, the difference in mentality. Girls want to marry an American, give birth to a child, or rather a few, and enjoy life. Men want to see next to them not just a woman, but also a partner, investing in this concept that a woman should work, earn and not sit on her neck. This is only visible by the fact that in the USA there is no decree, as in Russia, three years long, as such. And not all companies give at least a few months to care for a child to a young mother.

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I have a friend from Ukraine. For several years she lives in New York. She has a political asylum case. She does not work here, but lives off of male sponsors. Now she is dating a divorced man who is raising a child. He proposed to her. Refused. I ask why. She said that he does not earn much.

“You see, when you meet a man, the first thing to ask him about is how much he earns and who works. If he is some kind of builder, even with a large salary, he is not suitable. You cannot take it with you to a restaurant. But doctors and lawyers are the best option, ”she says.

Tell me, men, would you like to put such a lady on your neck?

Another friend of mine spends thousands of dollars on clothes, shoes and accessories, explaining everything by the fact that she has to sell herself. And the more expensive it looks, the better the party will find.

I asked an American friend why he didn’t like our girls. Here is his answer:

"I need a wife who will develop with me, and will not demand money from me, and then she will divorce and still sue half."

Another man, an immigrant from Russia, by the way, has been living in the USA for 22 years, said that he does not like the way of immigration of such “brides”:

“They come not to work, not to study, not because they won the DV lottery, but because they want to get married.”

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As a girl, I feel uncomfortable when they talk about us like that. But everyone is entitled to their opinion. Maybe it's easier for me that I came to the United States with my spouse, and I'm not used to depending on someone, but getting married to stay in the country is too much.

You may not agree with me, but I believe that immigration is not an end, but a means. Immigration for the sake of immigration is not good. Move to another country because of a new job / prospects / education, etc. Is one thing. But leaving to marry a foreigner is another matter entirely. And then what? Well, I found myself a husband, gave birth to a child, and then what? And then these are the questions:

“We need advice from a lawyer and people who have been in a similar situation. She married an American in Ukraine in 2016. Green card received a CK1 wife visa from March 2018 to March 2020. She stayed in America for 2 months, there was a misunderstanding with her husband's mother. There is a correspondence about this with an American friend. In 2019, she gave birth to a child in Ukraine from another man. She is not divorced from her American husband. I did not move to the United States in these 2 years and did not apply for the extension of the greenhouse. How can I get the green back? ”- writes a member of one of the immigrant groups.

But all this is rather an exception than a rule. I have many friends of families who have lived in love and understanding for years, work, raise children and make plans for the future. By the way, as my observation showed, very strong alliances when the husband and wife, as immigrants, met already in the USA. Apparently, joint overcoming of difficulties brings together.

Original column published in column «Immigrant alphabet» on Yandex Zen

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