All the mothers of the world are somewhat alike. They have the same joys, problems, anxieties. And yet, the culture and traditions of the country where we were born and raised impose a huge imprint on our personality and how we raise our children. Two years ago, Olesya Rassoshkina moved with her husband and two children to the United States. Especially for the project "Children Mail.RuShe told how American mothers raise their children.
They have nerves of steel!
Having lived two years in the USA, I never cease to be amazed by American mothers - they are sometimes “others”! Something in their manner of upbringing seems strange and even eccentric to me, but something arouses interest and desire to learn.
I can hardly remember to hear how an American woman raised her voice to a child or screamed. Sometimes it seems to me - they have nerves of steel! Whatever happens, their voice remains even and quiet. Even when the child is expressed dissatisfaction with its behavior.
It seems that every second mother here read a dozen books on pedagogy and child psychology. They know how to listen to their child, to call him to order, squatting next to him and looking into his eyes, to say how he should act now. Of course, you can bring and American mother, but it is much more complicated than the Russian.
American women do not treat colds, but wait until “it falls off”
Perhaps the point here is that we expect impeccable behavior from our children where the Americans will say: “That's okay, these are children!” And will not waste time and nerves persuading to do something or, on the contrary, not to do something. If you don't want to wear a hat, don't wear it. If you want to run barefoot in cold water, run. Where I would argue with a child, persuade him to do "as my mother said," American parents "let go of the situation."
One day, I decided to still ask an American friend for a walk why two of her three children were in shorts. She herself, shivering in a warm sweater and taking a sip of hot coffee from a cup, complained how cold it is today. The answer baffled me a bit: “I told them that it was cool outside, I warned. They themselves chose to dress like this, this is their decision. ” One of the "decisive" was 4 of the year.
Then the same friend explained to me that this approach teaches children to take responsibility for their decisions. Freeze - next time they dress, or the walk will not be long. There is no tragedy in the fact that a child can get sick, having frozen, my friend does not see. All children are sick - this is normal, she will say.
Snot, easy temperature - not a reason to stay at home or consider the child sick. This is understandable: to go to a pediatrician with a temperature less than 39,5 is meaningless here, you will still be sent a walk on 5 days, since “most likely the child has a virus, drink more, it will pass by itself”. That is why American women seem very calm in matters of children's sores, do not stuff babies with medication and do not treat colds, but wait until “it falls off”.
Rolled down the hill - good job!
Also, mothers in the United States try to encourage independence from a younger age: he dressed himself — that's fine, how he dressed — this is already the tenth thing. I liked it. Russian mothers really take care of children too much and give them less freedom to make their own decisions.
But to stop walking through 15 minutes, because the stubborn son decided that he was warm in a light sweater and shorts in cool weather, it does not suit me at all. However, like walking a child shivering from the cold. Children, of course, are really all sick, but the less often they do it, the more comfortable it is for me.
But on the praise of American moms do not stint. Children here a hundred times a day hear the phrase “good job! ”(Something like our“ well done ”, although literally it is“ good work ”). Rolled down the hill, made Easter cake, helped put the book into place, shared a toy - good job!
Children are praised for everything, especially babies. My son was so used to it in the garden that at home he was now praising his sister for any action. Once I heard my mother talking in a cafe area with her son about three years old. They were about to leave and clean up the toys behind them. Mom not just thanked him for his help, but for a long time she told how she appreciates his participation in the cleaning and how it helped her. I'm sure the kid was very proud of himself.
There is a changing table in any men's room.
But American mothers appreciate not only the success of their children, but also themselves, or rather, first of all. They try to fit children into their usual life as much as possible and are perfectly able to delegate responsibility for raising and caring for children to their husbands.
American dads are included in the lives of their children from the first days of their lives. Dad knows how to feed and dress the baby, go for a walk with him. There is a changing table in any men's room. In our city, by 5-6 hours of the evening dads try to be at home. The working day usually starts early in order to free up the evening for the family, to take the children to the section or to the park for a walk.
Sport and early development through entertainment
By the way, about the section: Americans are trying to take something with their children, because until 10, and even up to 12, a child cannot stay at home alone, without adult supervision. And if both parents work, then the children will spend a lot of time in various after-school activities and in holiday camps.
Sport is given special attention here, but if we are talking about young children, all activities are more fun. And all kinds of developmental groups for children up to 3's are more likely the opportunity for moms to socialize and play with their children.
To persuade something to eat here no one will
This is exactly what American women could learn from Russian mothers - this is an attitude to the nutrition of children. Here we definitely give odds to all. Porridge for breakfast, soup for lunch, all homemade, healthy - this is our fad.
Of course, American women are also all different, and many here adhere to a balanced and healthy diet. But Russian mothers for the most part are much more scrupulous in questions of how and how to feed a child. And persuading children to eat something useful American mother is also unlikely to be.
Grandmother, who will try to feed her grandson, is also rare here. Most often, grandparents live in another state and see their children and grandchildren a couple of times a year. In Russia, grandparents are much more involved in the life of their grandchildren.
So what are the typical American mothers that I meet every day? Various! One morning will go for a run with a stroller with two ogodkahki. The second will throw on the way to the office of their 9-month-old baby in the garden. The third will go to the office first, while the husband takes the children to the garden and to school. And it is unlikely that a collective portrait can be painted - we are all different.