Author of the channel "Anonymous Moms Club" on "Yandex.Zen" quotes the story of American Tammy Bell, told to SheKnows. Tammy decided to get pregnant at 47 and shared her reflections on motherhood in adulthood. Further - from the first person.
When I turned 47 years old and started talking about my second child, people were terrified.
“Why would she need another child at that age?” - Perplexed ones.
“These are such risks,” others shook their heads.
Yes, pregnancy after 35 years is really fraught with risks, but after all, many become pregnant after 40, 50 and even - a case is known - at 68 years old, and give birth without complications. Therefore, I weighed the pros and cons, and found 5 reasons why I can afford to give birth at 47 years old.
I'm already lucky to have a daughter
I never thought that I could have children at all. When I was 25 years old, I had a first miscarriage in the fifth month of pregnancy. After this, the miscarriages were repeated several more times over the years, and when I finally became pregnant and gave birth to a daughter at 41, it was the happiest day of my life.
Since then, my husband and I no longer planned children. When we were asked if we would give birth to a second, I answered that our daughter was enough for us. She was all we needed. And if she herself had not asked for a brother or sister, we would not even have thought about it. But she still asked.
I understand the risks of late pregnancy
My husband and I have not so easily made this decision. We thought it over and over, wrote out all the pros and cons. In the first column, we noted the fact that the daughter really wants a younger brother or sister, in the second column - our age and the risks associated with it: gestational diabetes, Down syndrome and Cesarean section.
But I am sure that such risks exist in any pregnancy. Therefore, if a woman of my age still has the opportunity to become pregnant and wants this, then she can do it.
I want to give my daughter a sibling
My daughter is now five years old. She plays with friends who have siblings. She wants her to have someone too. Many times she asked me: "Can I have a brother or sister?" Several times I answered her that I was not sure if it was possible. When we finally made a decision and my daughter asked her question again, I told her the truth. Yes, we want her to have a brother or sister, and we will try to give it to her, but this may not happen.
I am calm about other people's inquiries
It’s easy for me to answer the questions of my 5-year-old daughter and the questions of other people.
"Why do you want another baby right now?",
"Why did you wait five years before having another child?"
“Why didn't you think about it earlier?” ...
And usually I answer: “This is our decision and our life. And right now we want our child to have a brother or sister. We are ready to stay awake all night, to multiple feedings and changing diapers. This is not our first child, so we know what to expect. "
I am confident in my decision
Will the opinions and comments of others bother me? No, because the choice is only ours. Therefore, please, you can say whatever you think, share your thoughts, and then be happy for us or not. In any case, our family will cope with everything, both with your support and without it.
I am not a grandmother, as you might think. And although strangers called me “grandmother” by accident, this does not bother me. But still, if you want to do the right thing before declaring such an assumption, you better ask.
We hope that Tammy and her husband will succeed and they will become the parents of a healthy baby.
Original column published on the blog. "Anonymous Moms Club" on "Yandex.Zen"
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