American love: how to marry a Wall Street wolf
'06.12.2017'
Source: Columnist
Anastasia Zaitseva, a famous Ukrainian TV host, travel blogger and beauty expert, in her blog on "Observer" shares his own opinion on New Yorkers and his opinions about American men.
- You know, New York is fascinating and at the same time inspiring, and its pace stimulates to be in time as much as possible!
- Well, of course, - my friend interrupts me - Are there any suitors there?
Hmm, a difficult question, but I will try to reveal my view on the topic of "marrying an American." Stories about caring men “over the hill”, who carry their wives in their arms, excite the minds of Ukrainian women, and numerous dating sites entice them to meet their love overseas. And this is how I saw the inhabitants of the Big Apple.
I think the first topic to be covered is your status in the country. If you do not live in America, but stay on a temporary visa, the first thing a new acquaintance will suspect you of is in an attempt to stay there to live through marriage (New Yorkers are aware of this issue as well as immigration lawyers, ask for a free consultation). The problem is not with you, but with those girls who actually did this. And now try to prove that we are all right with men and not all Ukrainian women are looking for an overseas prince.
Many people with whom I met, unfortunately, were completely stereotyped and perceived with genuine surprise the phrase that I was not looking for a beloved here, but was just learning from short-term courses. So, if one of the girls wants to meet an American while there, then first you need to try to find a comrade free from stereotypes and have to dance from it. And yes, if you do not have a residence permit, suspicious guys run from such as the devil from incense, not having time to discover the depth of your bottomless soul.
Of course, New York is not the whole of America, but the harsh realities of this city are such that people, due to lack of time, stop looking for real spiritual intimacy, and instead of joint plans for the future with their other half, they are limited. "friends with benefits“. And judging by the fact that the Uber driver first told me about this, this phenomenon is quite common. People simply consume each other, narrowing the relationship to the format of meetings "for health" and having several partners at the same time. By the way, the guy was extremely surprised that at my age I have a serious relationship, they say, it's early, and in general why all this, if it takes so much time, and then also clarifications, claims, jealousy begin. So just because you spend your evenings, nights, breakfasts and weekends with a typical New Yorker doesn't mean that he considers you his girlfriend. Or maybe I'm so old-fashioned that I think dating and sex are relationships.
Every hour of a successful resident of this city costs a lot of money, and therefore these people have no time to understand the intricacies of your spiritual organization. For queens of drama (and indeed the whole palette of feelings of Ukrainian women is really quite diverse) there are two scenarios, in the worst of them a man promises to call and disappear from your life with the speed that lies in the tunnel of the New York subway.
Due to lack of time, young people lost the habit of meeting offline and rendered the search for their own destiny into the hands of dating site owners. Advertising such in every magazine, starting with the onboard any airline. They promise to find the perfect pair, of course, not for free. I can already imagine how, at the wedding of such an ideal couple, they toast in honor of a well-worked online algorithm, and instead of a bouquet, the bride throws a pack of business cards to an unmarried girlfriend. Perhaps, because of all the same my old-fashioned, I am skeptical about online dating, and I consider the regulars of such sites dependent on dating and being in permanent search. Most likely, this is just another convention, which is dictated by the frantic pace of New York. One of my friends, busy in the financial sphere, works most of the day and admits that he simply has no time to meet girls in real life, and I would not call him an online maniac.
Oh yes, for those who dream of marrying the "wolf of Wall Street" internet dating is a great idea. The only thing to consider is the ability to maintain a dialogue in the company of his friends and colleagues, including the question of which country is considered the cleanest cocaine. Since we have touched on this delicate topic, I will add (do not read the following lines if you are a bore like me) - among American youth, smoking weed is completely commonplace and no one considers it shameful. I can already see how I am trying to argue my hypothetical husband for my negative attitude to any kind of drugs!
The most frequent question from the girlfriends was whether the American guys, having invited them to the cafe, would offer to split the bill for two. Maybe I attract real gentlemen to me (I have already admitted to my old-fashioned attitude and will not hesitate to add that I love when men open the door for me and give me a hand), but none of my friends allowed me to pay my part of the bill.
According to my journalistic habit, I always communicate with people about their life, so I am arranged that I want to know how people live in every country. One friend of mine told me this about his relationship: “We dated for 3 years, and then I suggested that she start living together.” Have you got your eyes on your forehead from this phrase? I have - yes (perhaps this is the fault of my above-described flaws). On the one hand, not rushing into a serious relationship is good, you can get to know a person better, but what kind of bad eyesight must be in order to look closely at a girl for 3 years?
In fact, Americans can really “meet” like this for years, without haste to unite into a family, which is not entirely clear for our mentality. Nobody wants to take responsibility, and this responsibility itself is quite limited there, but this is from a different opera.
There are exceptions to any rule, and I'm sure you know the stories of people who have found love in this country and, despite the differences in mentality, live happily ever after. To unequivocally assert about the possibility of a relationship with an American, you need to go through them, and I just made up the big picture on the burning topic of “marrying an American”, having spent several months there. Finally, I will add that America is full of handsome men for every taste, but this tale is not for me.
