Moving to another country is a difficult process, not only physically, but also psychologically. What can await you and how to tune in the right way - the author of the blog "Happy in America" told about this from her own experience. Yandex Zen.
Someday I will post a top 10 tips to help you cope with the difficulties of moving. Now I will confine myself to one, but precisely the one that for me stands at the head of all the recommendations.
Give yourself time
Or leave yourself alone. Don't ask. Do not try to climb to the top, be in time on all fronts. Don't discount.
It sounds simple, but it is seeming simplicity. In reality, we only do what we force ourselves. They are not satisfied with how we are coping, but they need to be higher, faster, more efficient, and at the same time necessarily more joyful, more active and happier.
According to various estimates, the adaptation process can take up to three years! Thinking that I already had experience (moving from one city of Russia to another), I expected that everything would go much easier. But, firstly, changing another city in one country is not the same as being on another continent.
And secondly, not only a physical change of residence is hidden in the concept of “moving”. These are new climatic conditions, and a different language, and mentality, as well as culture, food, way of life, and so on.
Therefore, it will take a lot of time and effort to adapt.
Moreover, this also applies to those situations when the move takes place in more comfortable conditions. It is quite possible that in some ways you will really be in the black, but most likely, something else will still be sorely lacking (for example, communication).
And it seems to me that the success of adaptation depends not only on how quickly you make friends or get a good job. But also in whether you can give yourself time - to get used to, to understand how everything works in a new country, to find your favorite places for walking and shops where you will become a regular customer. Will you be able, after (or instead of) parsing the boxes, to allow yourself to sit on the balcony in the evening or sleep longer in the morning?
We are not robots or superheroes. And, honestly, I don't want to be either one or the other. I am a living person - from time to time with fatigue, bad mood and unwillingness to do anything. And the question is, will I fight this (which will turn out to be useless in the end) or will I understand: in order for me to spend, I need to have something that can be spent. This also applies to money, and time, and energy, and other resources.
There is no one way, one instruction for everyone - everyone has their own methods. The main thing is not to drive yourself artificially into a framework (in a move, whatever one may say, there is so much about restrictions), not to compare yourself with anyone else (even with yourself). On the contrary, he treats himself carefully, with even more care and love than before. Then you can go through this process not only painlessly, but also with pleasure.
A year and several months after the move, I finally gave myself time. And yes: now I do not have everything that I want. But I love everything that I have.
Original column published on the blog. "Happy in America" in Yandex.Zen
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