Personal boundaries in a relationship: what your partner should never ask for
'24.11.2020'
Source: LifeHacker
No matter how close the relationship, it is important to respect personal boundaries. Lifehacker.
1. Ignore outbursts of anger and physical violence
The partner has no right to ask you to ignore, deny or take the blame for his aggression towards you. As noted by family therapist Carrie Kravets, in this way he shifts responsibility for his behavior to you.
“In a healthy relationship, each person is responsible for their actions, thoughts and feelings,” says Kravets.
2. Isolate from family and friends
The decision about who you communicate with, how much and when should always be yours. If the chosen one is trying to isolate you from loved ones, this is a sign of emotional abuse, emphasizes relationship coach Shula Melamed.
“The only thing your partner might ask of you is to spend more time with family and friends to strengthen your bond with them. It is not the same when he limits your communication, ”says Melamed.
3. Downplay your progress
Your partner's normal reaction to your accomplishments is pride. Irritation or threats indicate his insecurity.
If you feel guilty or frustrated when something good happens to you, if you cannot share it, then your personal boundaries are violated.
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4. Give up financial independence or quit
By allowing your partner to control your wallet, you make yourself potentially vulnerable and dependent on it, says Kravets. If you cannot manage the family budget on equal terms, then mutual respect in a couple is questionable.
5. Accept unacceptable behavior from family and friends
Does your partner's friends disrespect your privacy or are his parents being rude to you? He shouldn't expect you to just accept it. Otherwise, the passion either prefers to avoid confrontation with his loved ones, or the relationship with them is more important for her than with you. That is, there is no question of mutual respect.
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6. Change radically
If your partner demands that you give up your beliefs, beliefs or values, this is a very dangerous signal, warns Shula Melamed. So he doesn't accept your identity.
7. Become an intermediary
A passion has no right to ask you to become a carrier pigeon for someone, such as her parents.
“It happens that your partner says, 'Tell my mother ...', which makes you a mediator in their relationship and frees him from responsibility for his words,” says psychotherapist Francis Walvis.
