Treated cancer with mosquito bites: the tragic fate of the Russian footballer's 25-year-old wife
'10.09.2018'
Source: Sports.ru
In December last year, the wife of Russian footballer Evgeny Balyaykina died of cancer. Sophia struggled with the disease for over a year. Balyaykin frankly shared the story of his family tragedy.
Kazan
We met Sophia after I left the "Wings", - Evgeny tells the project Sports.ru. It was the winter of 2015. I broke the contract, but it did not work out with the other team right away, and I returned to Kazan, where I had a girlfriend with whom we had a daughter. We met the New Year, but soon parted. Heavy was a relationship, we decided that it was better for everyone. Injury, the team could not be found, heavy parting - I was depressed. Apathy. I didn’t understand what to do, I just didn’t want to leave the house.
In March or April, a friend called in the cafe "Trattoria". I saw Sophia, she worked there as a manager. It seems an ordinary girl, but cheerful. I often began to go there, we began to communicate, made friends, everything started to happen. Then her mother came, helped her to transport things - we quickly gathered. I was very easy and calm with her. We had a couple where everyone could tell each other everything as it was.
She constantly worked, hard schedule. We didn’t have much strength to go somewhere, we mostly spent time at home. Because of the circumstances of my life, every day was special for us, because she constantly corrected my psychological state - with her appearance, with her smile. She really helped me at that stage. Somehow out of apathy. Gave me to understand that not everything is so bad.
Tomsk
Of course, we consulted before moving [from Kazan to Tomsk]. But she herself wanted me to find a team. She said: “If you find a team, I will go with you.” Where you find, go there and go. " She was worried about me. She is the kind of person who wanted to help everyone. We often had friends calling, saying that something had happened to them. I always said to her: "Understand, do not bother." She: "No, we need to think about how to help."
At first it was hard for her in Tomsk: she knew no one, she was at home. She was bored, she tried not to show it, but it was understandable when we talked. She started going to different courses, made friends with girls - girlfriends, wives of other Tomi players. Gathered, went somewhere, sat with the children, walked.
In Tomsk she did not work. I wanted to, but I was afraid of the unknown. We then fought for access to the Premier League - it was unclear whether we will quit or not, leave the team or not. She also did not want to get settled for a month or two. Together, we periodically went somewhere, but then the training was hard, then we just didn’t want to go anywhere. Basically, just to visit other players went.
We then had conversations about the wedding and the children. It is clear that such conversations are usually from a girl. It often happened that we were in the company of friends, and she just seemed to be talking about it, but as if she were complaining: “Eh, nobody makes an offer to me.” We all laughed, but this happened more and more often. In the end, I am: “Okay, I agree, I persuaded. Will you marry me? ”
Diagnosis
A day or two before the wedding, Sophia found out about the illness (24 in November, 2016 is Sports.ru). I remember coming home from a workout - and there are tears, hysterics. She told everything, said: “I was diagnosed; there will be no wedding. I'm leaving, you live on, what for you need me, only life will spoil. " I say: “Good hysteria, everything will be fine, even if they were not mistaken with the diagnosis. Now everything is treated, especially in the initial stage. " I reassured her and said: “Now we are playing a wedding, then fly to Kazan, begin treatment”.
I knew that this was not a terrible stage and that Kazan had a good cancer center. It is clear that I just quietly read something on the Internet, but I really did not think that such an outcome was possible. At that time, it looked illogical. Everything was so good that it could not stop.
We celebrated a wedding in a Tomsk restaurant, where we often went. There were my parents, her mom and sister, the team with their wives and my friends. It seems even had a feeling of celebration. Shortly before the wedding, we talked, I told her: “Everything, calm down, we are becoming a family. Everything will be fine: get married, be cured, and then everything goes according to plan - the children, as promised. ” We planned to start them as soon as possible after the wedding. The next day, she flew with her mother to Kazan.
Operation
I do not remember whether I was in Kazan on the day of the operation. Everything is already confused. In my opinion, was not. Or maybe it was. Or not. Or was me. It was, in my opinion. Somehow I got it all dirty.
Sophia's mother once also had cancer, Sophia was offered to remove both breasts, like her mother. She did not want to. As a result, only the lump that was in the chest was removed. The operation went well, but then there was chemotherapy. After two courses, she said: I can no longer.
Soon she flew to the Maldives. She was called by a friend who married a local woman there. I say: “Fly, take a rest, just ask the doctor if you can or not.” The doctor said: sort of as possible, just do not often sit in the sun. I told her: “Well, you think yourself, weigh everything. Is it worth it? What decision you take, I will support this. ” When a person needs something, he wants it, it is useless to bring any arguments, he will do it anyway. I do not push the responsibility from myself, I am guilty, but I supported what it seemed to me then was better for her.
She rested, arrived. But, apparently, the sun aggravated her condition, because at some point the lump appeared again. She began to grow, went inflammation of the lymph nodes.
Then she began an alternative treatment. It will probably sound funny: she found out that there is some man who practices mosquito treatment. You go to the forest for three hours, the mosquitoes bite you there. You know how it happens: one method finishes you, you start looking for any other. You don't care what it is, how much better or worse. Probably, she happened that way. Probably, this is my main mistake - that I did not try to convince her or simply to take and take in a rough way to the hospital. She was engaged in this for several months, she did not go to chemistry.
Although chemotherapy helped her. But someone takes her normally, but someone, like her, is as bad as possible: without strength, the whole body seems to be boiling. Perhaps that is why she [turned to alternative medicine]. Doctors said that chemotherapy is getting better - according to analyzes, something else. And she told me: “Damn it does not help. Does not help at all. It doesn't get any better. ”
I think if she had undergone the whole course of treatment, she would have lived.
Khabarovsk
After moving to Khabarovsk for a month and a half, everything was fine, she even went to my matches. But then everything deteriorated sharply. It seems she was hiding it, because I did not notice. Somehow did not pay attention. Only when she was already sick, she showed me that she had a big tumor. I have such eyes: “Have you been silent?”.
She went to the oncology center in Khabarovsk, she was told there: no chance, we do not take such patients. I say: "I mean? How could you say so? Generally morons? ". I wanted to go and shoot the doctors.
In the end, they sent her to Korea. They agreed to treat her there. And there everything was decided. She did not know, but I knew. There was a Russian-speaking doctor, I asked him to say everything as it is. He told me that there was no chance, and I did not tell her.
She was treated in Korea for about a month. At some point, she returned. She was drafted a treatment plan and explained: chemistry should be done every month, but there is no sense to fly every month, the 2-3 course is done in Russia, then the last course in Korea, then we look at the dynamics. This treatment plan encouraged her. And I already knew everything, I just did not know when. I was told: maximum year.
Death
I remember how she died. It seems to me that this is not forgotten. I was in Khabarovsk, and she was here with my mom and my mom. She walked a little, constantly on injections. In recent days, she was very ill, it was already hard to talk to her, only corresponded - a maximum of a couple of minutes. She almost always slept, rarely answered. I wrote to her that I would come soon, she told me what was waiting for.
We had the last game of the season in Kazan. She was then just taken to the hospital so that it became easier - she was cared for, something was smashed. The next morning, the mother-in-law was in the hospital, but I still did not understand whether I should go to the hospital myself or they would return home. I am writing to my mother-in-law, she says: "Zhenya, move quickly." I say: "What happened?". She: "You can not have time." I: "I mean?" She: "Marrying, go."
He sat in a taxi, came to the hospital, and they began to drive us out of there. I understand that it is not normal for a hospital if a person dies there. She was already dying and did not say anything, just lay. We took her home, laid her, 30-40 minutes went by and that was it. She died in my arms.
It
In the first days after her death, I was gone. At the same time there was always a house full of people. Maybe I wanted to be alone, but they did not want to leave me alone, otherwise it is unknown what. I probably still have not moved away. It is not clear what I will do with my life. I can not make informed, correct decisions. I can not build my life further. Emptiness is simple. She was then and the same now. It happens that you are going to a training session - and then it seems as if there are two little men on their shoulders: one says go, the other goes and the fuck up, life is over, you too, stay at home. And it happens that I do not go.
In the spring there was a segment when it was easier. I was with the team fees. But then it returned - and does not leave. It may catch on suddenly. There is always a feeling of emptiness, and because of what it is - in different ways. Because she is not around. Because you blame yourself that you could fix it. There are many reasons - one, then two, then all together. It happens that all day is normal - and then pereklinivaet. It happens, I forgot about it, then you go to the store, you see there is a product that you often buy together - that's all, it’s klinit.
At the funeral, I remembered the situation from childhood. We had a very friendly yard. And the neighbors, it seems, either their niece was killed, or something else happened. We were at the funeral, but we were kids. They simply understood that something was wrong, because everyone was crying. And the neighbors had two sons, the youngest - a year older than me. And while everyone was crying, he ran and laughed, shouted to me: "Let's play." Subsequently, it turned out that he was just hysterical. I also had it: laughter, then tears. It happens that I am sitting with friends, and I can just laugh like that. Probably, from the side, they looked at the fool.
I never went on dates after she died. Communicated with some girls, but no more. I understand that we must live on, but no relationship, nothing like that at all.
Sophia's photos were removed by his family from Instagram accounts, we used previously published pictures of the images for informational purposes.
