Who is early, who is late, who does not need anything
'08.08.2017'
“You don’t need to get married at all,” said me middle-aged woman. One headache from this. For sex, those who wish will always be found. You can give birth to a child from someone or take for adoption. And if you make a decent career, then you don't need financial support either. And without wasting time with your family, you can make your career much faster and easier. And what else are you guys good for? ”.
I thought. And really, for what? And whether to marry, or for example, marry? Maybe this institute is hopelessly outdated, and the statistics, speaking about six divorces from every ten marriages (even if it is not accurate), are talking about something to us. What is it all about?
He says, perhaps, that it is necessary to change something, to revise, other laws, or to adopt new rules, to impose ideas. I do not know for sure, but something needs to be done.
A man should not suffer a single day in marriage. And if marriage were to be made in heaven, where, probably, we think better than you, then, probably, we would all live in perfect harmony and die in one day. And it does not always work out, or rather, very rarely. The question is why? There are many answers to it, and all are correct. For example. They promise, getting married, that they will forever (or at least to the grave) love each other. This is, by the way, how? And who can come to mind, if not to smoke well, so brazenly lie at the very beginning of life together? No one has the right to say this. And if he is an accident the next day, and paralyzed for the next seventy years, lying in bed? ... Will you leave to take care? Never marry again? Do not throw it? Do not rush to answer. Think it over. Twist the script in your head. Add a few of their adverse options. Ask around those who are in a similar situation. We can not make such promises, as in most cases they will certainly not keep them. No, I know there are exceptions. But they do not decide. And they are not the majority. I still people, weak beings, and nothing human is alien to us. Right? Not? Next we go.
He, the bridegroom, that is, thinks that she, the bride, will be the same tender, fluttering princess always, well, or at least the next eighty years, and then you will see.
Will not be. She won't be a princess. Not because it will deteriorate in quality, but because it has never been. She sweats, possibly grunts when she eats, snores in her sleep. By the way, she goes to the toilet like a person, and she does such a thing there that all the princesses (who don't go to the toilet, because they don't need to) would turn red. And the gases in her, like in people, are formed, and they need to be somehow eliminated from the gassed organism. And many other non-princess-like things happen to her. He simply does not see it yet and thinks, or at least hopes that he will not see it. It is not true, excuse the young gentlemen who are about to give their hand and heart. You will see everything and, seeing as an option, you will be completely upset. True, some of this disorder immediately run away from divorce, shouting “deceived, bewitched”, or vice versa, “bewitched”. Others endure. Habit. Children. Parents. House. Household. What will * Princess Marya Alekseevna say? * ...
By the way, what nonsense is it to promise a hand and a heart? Is it really necessary, or did it just come from antiquity, everyone repeats it and no one thinks? A hand is, apparently, to work in favor of the beloved. So today it is no longer a fact who will work there and provide for the family, he or she. And the heart? It has something to do with it? Apparently, this is where love comes into play. The one about which everyone is singing songs, writing poems, shooting in a duel (they beat each other in the face, in the modern version) and sometimes even throw themselves from the roof. Harmful, apparently, this thing, if such misfortunes from it. Plus, no one can explain it, see it, hear it, touch it, or convey it. There she is, they say, that's all. Believe it or doubt it. They play her, play with her, play her. That is, love is such a game. There are no rules, everyone invents them for himself and does not recognize others. All sorts of deeds in the name of love commit and meanness, turning into murder - also for her sake. Well? And what does the heart have to do with it? Who said or proved, or at least explained why everything in the heart is written off? Maybe it sits in the kidneys, maybe in the liver, in the heels or elsewhere you want. But no, heart. He has to work hard all his life without a smoke break, to drive blood. So we come up with an additional load for him. What for?
Now let's approach the other side of the picture. She, the bride, that is, immediately sees (although at first she is silent about this, since she is not stupid) where her groom, future spouse, needs to be adjusted. Somewhere a few light strokes with a brush, and somewhere you will have to work with a chisel and emery. She knows exactly what he needs to be turned into, so that she turns out to be a one hundred percent husband, as she likes, and suitable for a joint family life. Also a mistake. It happens sometimes, and very rarely. More often - it does not work, and for some reason he does not agree to * improve * to her standards. And if he temporarily agrees, then all the same, someday his conceit will leap up in him (maybe the other woman will whisper something, or will eventually listen to her mother), his patience will run out ... and will sprinkle everyone. She herself will also be in trouble for this workout and training.
Well, then of course, family. Joint celebrations, relatives, which sometimes are many and refuse them impossible. Children later. Our little flowers. But as long as they grow up, oh-oh-oh, how many things will leak. Housekeeping, salaries there, taxes, cleaning, food, dishes. In a word, there are a lot of pitfalls for the fragile whilst the boat is in a stormy sea-ocean of joint navigation. Well, and friends around free gulevanyu again, your name is, and you have already withdrawn from the distance or gone. Sorry too. Although again, some people like family life very much. And this is wonderful.
The questions are the same - do you need to get married or not? For whom, when, for how long? How to understand that this is it, and it is advisable not to make a mistake. Or, not him, immediately figure out, and not after fourteen years with three children ...
I, frankly, never got married and never got married, so I won't say for sure. But I think that marriage needs to be rehearsed, how a play is rehearsed. Although, it is still not the same, as all the participants know, this is a rehearsal. True, some, and there are more and more of them these days, already do so. Meet, meet. Then they move in - and chilling details are revealed there, like - she takes a bath for two hours or he never washes the dishes after himself. But with a lot of love (whatever you want, understand it) it may seem cute and even quite attractive strokes. If for a year or two they have not quarreled in the dust because of the socks-joggers-in the bath of hairs ... then maybe they will. Although, then, when they already get married in a serious way and the rehearsal smoothly turns into the premiere and immediately follows - on weekdays, it may turn out that there was neither a prince nor a princess, and there is no, but ordinary people with all their weaknesses and periodically exploding nerves, live. And you also need to reckon with this and solve problems every day, sometimes difficult, and sometimes completely insoluble.
But, really, youth is a wonderful time, and everything is within her power, I think. Therefore, you probably need to take risks with your hand and heart and with all the other parts to boot. What if you guess right and it turns out that there in heaven they accurately calculated, weighed and everything will turn out very well. And then you will live and live and make good money. And if not? Experience will appear. How else to accumulate it? Either he guessed, or became wise. Cannot be served together in the same dish. So that's it, dear comrades newly married or even just planning.
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