How the adoptive parents of 6 blind children live
'07.11.2018'
Source: Pravmir
Joe and Karen Bartling had a birth son when they decided to adopt their first child. Now the couple 6 blind foster children from India, China and South Korea. They do not consider themselves heroes and understand that they will not have to live peacefully in old age.
When Joe and Karen Bartling got married, they both wanted a big family. Their dream came true, but not in the way they imagined, tells Pravmir.
After numerous unsuccessful pregnancies 30 years ago, they had the only blooded baby - Joel. The rest of the attempts to have children did not lead to anything, and the couple thought about adoption.
The first was the girl Hannah from South Korea, who was born without eyes due to intrauterine development disorders. “We decided to adopt adoption, and it so happened that the first child was blind,” says Karen.
In 1997, Joe and Karen brought the girl to the USA.
“It took us a week to realize this little girl is blind and that will never change,” says Karen.
Now Hannah 23, besides blindness, she has learning problems and, according to her foster mother, she is younger in her development.
After some time, the social worker turned to the couple and asked if they would like to take another child. He was looking for a family for a girl whose parents were divorced. Unfortunately, the child had special needs that exceeded the capabilities of the family. Joe and Karen could not adopt a child.
She saw her future daughter on the mailing list
“It was a disaster. It took a long time before we could just talk about adoption. And then one day in our mail was a publication about blind children, ”- says Karen.
There, under the heading “Blind children need parents,” a woman saw her future daughter, Jessie. The girl was left in a hospital in South Korea by a blood mother. In 2002, Karen and Joe adopted her.
“Since then, agencies and social workers began to contact us when they had blind children,” says the foster mother.
Further in 2004, Ebi came to the family. She was born in India, the police found a girl crying in a garbage can. The girl has a rare genetic disease - Fraser syndrome, due to which her eyes are damaged and covered with skin.
In the same year, the fourth child appeared in the family - David. The boy was born with a cataract in one eye and has an abnormally small second eye. About his parents is not known, the child was found on the steps of a government building in China. Bartling turned out to be his second family in the USA - the first adoptive parents decided that they could not care for a blind child. Now David 18, he is going to go to college and believes that he can live independently
Two years later, Xvumx-year-old Obed Josiah appeared in the family, with serious intellectual disabilities. And a few months later, the couple adopted the last child. It was Bethany, who was born in 12 weeks in Thailand and lost her sight due to retinopathy of prematurity.
Although Joe and Karen often look at people on the street with their children, and strangers sometimes pay their bill at a restaurant, Karen thinks they have an “ordinary family”. Hannah sings, Ebi loves to read books in Braille, Bethany communicates with friends, and David wants to go to college.
“Wherever we go, we are always examined by those around us. It's not our fault, we just get a lot of attention, ”says Joe.
“This life chose me”
All children in the family are quite independent and try to help their parents.
“I have to cook and do the laundry, but all the children are involved in homework — they make the beds and perform their duties. We are a completely ordinary family, ”says Karen.
Now both spouses are 60 years old. Karen admits that being a mother of 6 blind children without assistants is not easy. “The most difficult thing is that Jesse and Ovid depend on me on 100% - I bathe them, brush my teeth, comb them, feed them, change diapers and change clothes,” says Karen. “At our age, we see our friends retire, that they have pleasant events in their lives that we lack, for example, they have grandchildren.”
Although the couple has a grandson from an older, full-blooded child, they understand that their old age will be different: “We will never stay at the“ empty nest ”, never retire. It is difficult, but this work brings reward. ”
Joe and Karen do not consider themselves to be saints or heroes and clarify that they did not choose such a family for themselves - she herself chose them.
“When we have a hard day or some difficulties, people tell us,“ Well, you yourself chose this. ”
I used to say, "Well, yes, you are right, I chose it myself." But the more I think, the more it seems to me that I did not make such a choice. This life has chosen me. ”
