The article has been automatically translated into English by Google Translate from Russian and has not been edited.

How choices change your life every day, and what to do if decisions are scary

Sergey Evelev

writer, TV and radio host


You’ll go right ... you’ll go left .. you’ll go straight ...

Photo: Shutterstock

What unites us all? People, animals, birds, insects, even plants?

Have you guessed? Well, of course you guessed it. This is the right to choose. Everyone has it - both we and the little bugs, I think. About insects - I don't know for sure, but we definitely use this right a thousand times a day. And in thirty or forty years from the day when you start to use this right, or even earlier, you can see where you have come. No, of course, we can assume that everyone is led by fate, guided by angels, pushed by karma. But it cannot be that the choice we have made every time and every hour does not lead us somewhere. He, I'm sure, guides us all the time. Let it not be in a straight line, let it sometimes go backwards, or just stumble on the spot, but this is a choice. He is most likely conscious, and therefore our choice is us. That is, each of us is a set of decisions made in life, which brought us to where we are.

Let's think it over.

Secretly eat candy before dinner or not, add water to the pot from which you sipped a liter of compote, or hope that your mother doesn't notice? To lie to the teacher that there was a rush, fire, flood, the roof collapsed at the house ... and that's why I didn't do my homework? And what about the page from the diary, where is the deuce, to pull out or find the deuce an explanation (by the way, I have always explained; sometimes more successfully, sometimes less)?

Tell the girl that you fell in love or not? Pretend not to notice her attention or not take a steam bath? Say right away that you don't want children, or wait for the “right moment”? Tell your wife that you love another one, and, oddly enough, you love her too, that is, two. In different ways, however, you love. But nonetheless. Tell the child that you are not his biological father or be afraid that it will knock him down? Fighting for this promotion at work, which requires walking on corpses, or - well, him?

On the subject: What would you do if you were God: how do people answer this question

Tell the client about the entire risk associated with his purchase or investment, or rely on “maybe it will carry over”? Buy a gun and get ready just in case, or play pacifist and bury your head in the sand? Eating meat or saving animals that are killed for this? Stop eating it yourself or, in addition to this, also become an active fighter with everyone who eats meat? And alcohol, and drugs, and sex, decent or promiscuous, and the truth (as I see it) to tell everyone in the face - or is it not worth risking your teeth and reputation in general?

Fight or run, react or pretend not to notice? To side with the strong or to join the opposition and remain in the minority? Pay taxes or show the tax office and start a fire on yourself? Violate traffic rules knowing that all violators will not be caught, or not risk it? And time for movies, jokes, stories, books in general, Google - to spend or find a better use for it? Go to bed early or as the body requires? And how to wake up - when you need to or when you want?

You can list for weeks. I am sure you will get a great list. By the way, I recommend to write two or three pages on this subject. Very useful exercise. It will open your eyes to much. There will be surprises.

What's important?

The most disgusting place is to be at a crossroads. It is said about this in fairy tales, and in life it is punished. Some - quickly choose the right, straight or left. Others ponder. Still others cannot choose at all. And all three options are normal. Fear of wrong choices, mistakes is not a disease, but a character trait, and no one can say that it is bad or harmful.

Here I just wanted to draw your attention to the fact that we very often (even if not always) have the opportunity to change the course of life in one direction or another. And even if we do not think about it and do not notice what is happening, this does not mean that we do not consciously do this. The lack of a solution is also a solution. I myself did not understand this for many years. Now I understand. It is important to be aware of this, so as not to blame others or the circumstances that forced us. It happens, but, probably, once in a hundred. In the rest, we always choose: with the flow, against the flow, or stay in place, hooked on a snag and “meditate” before deciding where to move, whom to join.

All success and courage in choosing. He is always yours, and perhaps always right.

I personally think so.

On the subject: About ordinary cowardice and extraordinary heroism in an era of mortal menace

PS Even now, when quarantine - everyone chooses. Some are at home, some are not. Some wear masks, others laugh at it. Someone washes each tomato with soap until it turns blue, someone spits on it. Some, having the opportunity to work from home, choose a home. Others go to work nonetheless. And the virus, I think, will not go anywhere - not tomorrow, not in a year. We just get used to it, and the paralysis caused by fear will pass. Everything is a choice. Even if we do not choose who to be (a bird or a cockroach), then how to live, what games to play and what masks to wear - we choose exactly.

If you want to talk with me about it - go to my page in facebook.

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