How to prepare for marriage with a foreigner in order not to regret: psychologist's advice
'25.10.2019'
Source: lady.mail.ru
To marry a foreigner and get a ticket to a better life is one of the most common female dreams. Globalization, the development of tourism and the availability of online dating have led to the fact that such a marriage has ceased to be an end in itself, it is just part of today's life.
Natalya Tolstaya, a psychotherapist, psychologist and writer, in her show “Tolstaya LIVE. Everything will be ok ”every week helps women to solve the most important life problems. Today she talks for lady.mail.ruwhat is important to know when marrying a foreigner.
Do not rush headlong into the pool
Take a close look at the chosen one. A successful marriage is not built in the world of emotions, but primarily in the head. Get to know each other better. Be sure to go, and more than once, to visit the groom, actively invite him to your home. It is important to clearly understand what kind of person he is before deciding to associate his fate with him.
A friend of mine married a Canadian. When she flew for good, it suddenly turned out that he did not live in the castle, but in the wild wilderness, and brought his wife to the house of his parents, who gave them a shovel. Naturally, she immediately left back.
On the subject: What you need to know when marrying an American
Keep in mind an evacuation plan and stash for a rainy day
In the heat of a quarrel, a man can put out the threshold. When living in another country, you should know to whom and where it is better to contact in case of any problems. The path to the Russian diplomatic consulate, if it exists in a given country, is also better to know in advance. Each woman should have her own money - savings, a personal bank account for insurance against emergency situations. Count on yourself, because life sometimes presents surprises.
Learn the laws of the country
It is in your interests to familiarize yourself with the laws of the country where you intend to move forever. Ask how and when you can obtain citizenship or a residence permit, how your interests, the interests of future children will be protected. What will happen if you decide to divorce your husband, who the children will remain with, where you will live, for what. The marriage contract is not in vain invented - this is your personal emergency insurance.
On the subject: I signed a prenuptial contract in the USA: why is this necessary and how to avoid mistakes
Cultural differences
You have a different history, culture, language, upbringing and often religion. Moms and grandmothers told us about one in childhood, and about another about them.
If you want to be happy in marriage, you should learn more about the mentality, culture and customs of the groom, unconditionally accept them and jealously observe them before agreeing to marry with a citizen of another country. Especially if this country is not European, you need to understand that you will have to say goodbye to many familiar things.
For example, my friend, who left for Israel and adopted Judaism there, for a long time could not get used to the fact that cheese cannot be eaten with sausage, and shrimp is not kosher: she suffered the most from them. But then I got used to it: another country, different rules, and this must be accepted.
Language
He must be known for sure! In such relationships, as in any interethnic relations, it is imperative to know the traditions of the spouse’s homeland and always remember that he comes from another world.
