How not to get a divorce and not to hate each other: psychologist's advice to quarantined couples
'28.03.2020'
Source: Obozrevatel
The media cited data from the registry office of the city of Dazhou, Sichuan. As soon as offices were opened there after quarantine, 300 applications were immediately filed for divorce, recalls Obozrevatel.
"Similar messages about the appointment of divorce events, the queue for which is scheduled until the end of April, are spreading in major cities in China, such as Shanghai, Shenzhen, Chengdu and Guangzhou," - writes Radii China.
Domestic psychologists predict that we will inevitably encounter this.
“In addition to the coronavirus panic, it is spring and vitamin deficiency - there is not enough light and vitamin D. In addition, all mental illnesses are aggravated. And because of the quarantine, it will still have to be moved in one room, ”says psychologist Irina Kostenko.
She advises accepting the fact that people will inevitably have to spend a lot of time in a closed room.
“We need to tune in to the fact that sooner or later the sun will rise. And imprisonment in a dungeon with her husband and children will end sooner or later. In addition, couples who do not communicate with each other at all have a chance to learn how to build a dialogue, ”advises Kostenko.
For example, you can discuss prospects - what awaits us in a week, two months. This will alleviate the level of anxiety.
“And in order not to get personal and not offend your partner, you need to talk about yourself - I am worried, I feel, I was unpleasant. And it is worth occupying yourself with what is controllable in this space. During a period of panic, anxiety increases. And we need to develop a feeling that there are things that we can control, even in small steps, ”says Kostenko.
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For example, cleaning, cooking will help, you can wash windows, sort through winter things in the spring, read books, clean up shelves, take apart and clean your computer.
Hug more
Relatives who live with you, advised by a psychologist, should be given the opportunity to retire and remain silent, not to pester with inquiries and clarifications of relationships.
“It's not so great when there is constant communication and communication. Relationships are anxious at times. And with family members, you need a lot of tactility: hugging with children and a partner. This also relieves anxiety and makes you feel safe, ”the psychologist clarified.
Also try to do exercises - movement and physical activity relieve stress well, produce hormones of pleasure and joy. If forced sitting in four walls was too complicated, then all the harsh decisions should be postponed.
“A conflict out of the blue cannot be born during quarantine, it is always based on something. That is, it appeared long before these events. Therefore, families have a great opportunity to work on themselves. But if the relationship has reached a very critical point, now you can communicate with specialists online. But after the quarantine is over, people will just have a surge in appeals to psychologists and psychiatrists, ”says Kostenko.
On the subject: How self-isolation affects the human psyche
She adds that the representatives of the post-Soviet countries, as a rule, do not have such a temper, as the Italians. But the example of the Chinese is alarming - they work a lot and spend little time at home.
“At the same time, China has very strong marriages. Not psychologically strong, but traditionally - one partner for life, and it is not customary to change him, ” — the psychologist explained.
