How not to quarrel with loved ones in the New Year holidays. Xnumx ways
'24.12.2018'
Source: with the BBC
After a series of Christmas and New Year parties and a large-scale purchase of gifts at the time of the holiday itself, many of us are tired and annoyed.
Recent sociological studies show that the period of New Year's holidays is a very stressful time, and rarely anyone these days manage to keep peace in the family. Sociologists estimate that the average family has at least five quarrels on Christmas Day. Air force.
However, keeping the peace and preventing the emergence of conflicts is a very doable task. We have 10 ways for you to reduce the intensity of passions and avoid clashes with loved ones that you may later regret.
1. Take it easy with alcohol!
From time to time, we all recognize that we regret too much drunk mulled wine. Alcohol provokes chemical changes in our brain, which is why we first feel free and relaxed, but these changes do not give us a sober look at many things.
Professor McMorran of the University of Nottingham warns that when intoxicated, we tend to neglect the consequences of our actions and words. If they try to provoke us when we are drunk, we tend to ignore the consequences of "falling for the bait." Our indiscretion can lead to violent reactions from people from whom we do not expect anything like this.
If you understand that the tension at the festive table is growing, give up alcoholic cocktails in favor of non-alcoholic. Suggest and other soft drink.
2. Cook together
Preparing dishes for the festive table is hard work. And hanging this work on one person means that his mood will be greatly spoiled, and this is much worse than an overcooked soup.
One way to avoid this situation is to reallocate responsibilities and assign responsibility for each dish.
Invite someone to take care of the cheese plate, and someone else to take care of desserts and snacks. In a word, remove all responsibility from the head chef.
3. Determine the budget for gifts
Given the high costs on the eve and during the holidays, you may be short of money. Financial turmoil can be a major source of stress and tension. It would be reasonable to reduce this tension by agreeing in advance on the budget for gifts.
If you do not have enough money to bestow on everyone who you were planning to please with a gift, why not make a choice in favor of a homemade gift? It can be a jam or a sauce, or a present in the form of one day of work as a nanny, or offering your own services of a guide to local pubs.
4. Give thanks for the gifts
Be diplomatic when you unwrap gifts. It could be a steamer or a shoehorn, or a Star Wars bath mat.
Just smile and say: “This is exactly what I wanted!”. This reaction will serve as a good example for children as well. And remember: you can always donate an unwanted gift.
5. Take time for a nap
If you are tired, chances are you will be gloomy and annoyed. This is because when you don't get enough sleep, the amygdala - the area of the brain responsible for controlling emotions - becomes hyperactive.
The hyperactivity of the amygdala causes the prefrontal cortex (the cerebral cortex, responsible for logic and decision-making) to switch off. And what is the result? We become more uncontrollable, emotional and most likely explode in the midst of a family dinner.
In order not to lose control over your emotions, try to sleep well before the celebration. And if you feel sleepy during the day, try to find time to lie down for a short while during the day.
6. Stay a fairy or a good wizard
Do something useful: offer someone a ride, walk the dog, take the kids for a walk, move the sofas in the hall. When you share something or help someone, you give joy, remove the burden of worries from the shoulders of those who are dear to you.
7. Learn not to pay attention to what is not so important.
Remember how you fought with your brother or sister 10 or 20 years ago? It is not necessary to repeat it now.
Analyze the causes of your quarrels. Is it really important to you how to feed potatoes? Or what is being shown on TV now?
If something annoys you, although the subject of annoyance does not matter much to you, bite the bullet and try to control it. Also try to avoid those that usually cause passions, whether politics, football or sharing a bar of chocolate.
8. Take a deep breath
If things aren't going well, it's time to get out into the fresh air. Oxygen and sunlight increase levels of the joy hormone serotonin. The more serotonin your body produces, the better your mood and the more relaxed you feel.
If you do not have the opportunity to go outside, there is another way: pour yourself a cup of tea and stay in silence for a few minutes or talk on the phone with friends.
9. Do not take the game too seriously
A board game or a card game can be very good entertainment, but there is a fine line between competitive spirit and open aggression. Do not take this difficult event if you are not sure that all participants are able to reach the final without hysteria and mutual insults.
10. Remember those who are now hard
New Year and Christmas is a time when we allow ourselves to dive into dreams a little, and our expectations can become unrealistic. Also, this is a time of excessive reflection, when any problem in our mind can seem huge and absorb all our attention, and even lead us into depression.
This time can also be very difficult for those who have lost a loved one, have faced serious financial problems, are suffering from a disease or cannot get out of depression.
A study conducted by the Samaritans organization showed that almost half of the respondents feel depressed during the holidays because of the need to be cheerful and happy during the holidays imposed by society.
Be patient and attentive to the people around you. If you feel depressed or anxious, try to take care of those who need your help.
