Voices in your head: how to learn to negotiate with yourself
'26.01.2021'
We live with you, we live, and we don’t think about it. Most of us are for sure. I won't tell you about birds-animals and fish, but we, people, have had a difficult lot. No one offered any alternatives, so we have to ...
This is me about the right to choose. We have it, as it were, and, as it were, not very much. Although, if you remember our bare-chinned childhood, then from time to time you could choose. Hear your mom's call for dinner, or pretend you can't hear, and play football for an extra fifteen minutes. True, the expression on my mother's face and the posture when she had to give up everything and personally go to me, a tomboy, to call, were an episode from Repin's painting "Swam." Probably her, the picture, in general, was painted from my angry mother.
Well. It was possible, contrary to the rule, to steal a candy before lunchtime, pretend to have forgotten the diary at school or at home. Some, especially talented, had two diaries altogether, one for the school, and the other for their parents. That is, despite the cuffs and the need to dodge, there were options. They became more, as well as responsibility for the chosen one, along with our growth and maturation. But, to think about how we choose, and who, in fact, is engaged in this thankless task, there was somehow no time. Thought and thought, did and did. Good - not good ... We drove and drove on.
And everything, if you look at it, is not at all so simple. By the way, about the fact that we have a choice, it seems, but ... Each time, deciding something, we must take into account the mass of initial data. And among them:
- it is not accepted here,
- I will be misunderstood
- You can't walk naked,
- the toilet door must be closed,
- you cannot give out other people's secrets,
- it's not fashionable now
- it's bad to be weak
- before you say, think carefully so as not to get caught up in ...
- if the police catch me ...
- if anyone knows what I'm thinking ...
And about five thousand more of the same postulates with which we live and which we always have to take into account in the decision-making process. Therefore, whether we have freedom of choice or not, the question is, frankly, rhetorical.
On the subject: Why you shouldn't berate yourself for promises you didn't keep last year
So. In our head, in our souls, in our hearts ... I don't know exactly where, the gang lives. A group, that is, discordant comrades. Who put them there, how were the votes selected, who participated in the competition, who was on the jury? Nothing is known. Give out - get it. You want to say thank you for the gift, say it. If you don't want to, no one will be offended. It's yours anyway. And now all your life, whatever it may be: long, successful, painful, happy, rich or poor, you are doomed to communicate with the whole chorus of voices sitting with you ... where they sit. And not only with the choir, but also with each soloist separately.
- Go there!
- Do not go there!
- Come on, you will surely meet her!
- You wanted to see her!
- No, I didn't!
- You're lying, I wanted to! For the third week you have been hanging around her house after class. What is this for? To NOT see her?
- I won’t go anyway!
- What a fool!
- The ram itself! ..
Especially for those who do not seem to hear such skirmishes in their heads, I hasten to note that this happens every time you need to decide something. Everytime!!! And I'm not kidding. It just happens quickly sometimes. Voices - two. One quickly scores the other and decides everything in a moment. There are more than two of them, and a whole orgy begins. Girls, when they are preparing for a date, know this well. How many participants are there in the debate about manicure, clothes, hairstyles ... and in general, should I go to a meeting? And then? And if he? What is she? And he - in response? And she? And if suddenly, and she cannot resist, but a condom, and if not, but pregnancy, and a school-party-Komsomol, her whole life, reputation, mom-making a hole in her head? ...
So what am I doing this, my inquisitive reader asks necessarily? It seems that no one ordered a lecture on basic psychology. I know I know. Simply, floating through life, it is useful someday to realize that it is not important how many voices you have in your head, but something else entirely. And he, the other, there are at least three. Although, perhaps, one could find more. But these three are important.
First. Always agree with yourself (or voices in your belly, or wherever they will settle this time). Don't leave the solution in the air. This will torment and annoy you. Second: having decided - do it. Eat this, go there, surrender to the conceived. The shorter the pause between making a decision and starting to implement it, the better. Again, there will be less hassle and suffering.
And third. Probably the most important thing. Nine out of ten suffer from this “disease”. Having done - do not regret about anything. You decided, you did. How it happened - it happened. It's still good. Why? Your decision, your implementation. Don't like the result? Go back to the "drawing board" and draw a new drawing. And the thought that I was a loser, a ram, an unfortunate, my mother said that I would not achieve anything in my life, I had to listen to my grandmother and not marry him, why I did not obey, I would already be in Paris now ...
All nonsense and nonsense.
On the subject: The last chapter, interesting: about the very vaccine and conspiracy theories
It's like poking around in a chest where there is old, smelled of mothballs, unnecessary trash from the times of the French Revolution. I will not even say how long ago it was. Many will not even remember ...
It is harmful and unnecessary for anyone. Did. I went on. You wanted it to be good? Well, that's okay. Didn't it work out very well? Fine. Change your mind. Redo. It might be better. Or maybe not. This difficult process is called life for those who just fell from Jupiter. And nothing else. And I congratulate you on joining the group of participants, and / or realizing that you are already there and the “race” has begun. Let's run together. Who is where. Who is like. Who with whom. Everyone will run to the finish line. I guarantee. No one will live forever.
Conclusions.
Let's learn to enjoy the process by stopping looking where you want to run. So life will fly by, and almost all the joy will never meet with you. She - not at the finish line, but just on the road is happening ... While we are making plans in our heads about what we will do when we run.
So that is all. I wish you all a pleasant ride. Or life. And always negotiate with yourself. And never scold yourself for “mistakes”. This is stupid. And the main thing is senseless and useless. Although harmful and painful. And all in one pot.
If you want to talk with me about it - go to my page in facebook.
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