Childish Tantrum: 7 Ways To Stop It Fast
'16.05.2017'
Source: Psychologies
Every parent faced such an unpleasant and unpredictable phenomenon as child tantrum... At the same time, these hysterics have an absolutely amazing property - instantly infuriate even the most loving parents. Considering that this phenomenon is extremely common, and the fact that even experienced parents succumb to it, we tried to find out from a child psychologist how to cope with these nightmarish tantrums without harming the child's feelings.
Shouts, snot, wallowing on the floor demanding to do as he wants ... And, as ordered, it happens in a crowded place. This is another test! Moreover, for two sides, at least. The child does not yet know how to react to resentment, rage, anger in the way that most adults do, and acts in the only way available to him. Parents, in response, fall into extreme irritation, often feel guilty in front of others and are instantly lost because of how it will look from the outside, not knowing what needs to be done to stop the child's tantrum. In this article, we have selected 7 effective ways that should help you cope with child tantrums, taking into account what is happening with your child.
Describe the child’s feelings to the child
Due to the fact that young children do not always understand what is happening to them, and cannot give an account of the feelings that they experience, it is difficult for them to sustain it. It is very important to help the child name the emotions that he is experiencing. For example: “You're angry now, because we left the playground, and you wanted to play there?”. It is very important to show the child that you regret and understand him. You can say that you are angry too, when you cannot get what you want, but you can be angry in different ways, and that not all manifestations of feelings are beautiful and effective.
Show complete indifference
Especially when it happens in a public place. It is clear that under such circumstances we feel, to put it mildly, awkward, and this provokes our irritability and anger. As research says, the people around you do not at all consider you a bad mother, but, for sure, they sympathize. Therefore, if you are demonstratively calm and in no way pay attention to whims, then this will be a much more effective means than you allow yourself to show anger. After all, one must not forget an important point - public childish whims just in order to attract your attention.
Connect the child to fight his tantrum
As we wrote above: a child's tantrum is a sign that a child is not coping with his emotions and feelings. Remember one more thing: the child in these minutes is experiencing the strongest emotional stress, and not just trying to achieve their goals. Realizing this should help you not to be annoyed with your baby, but to unite your efforts in the fight against hysteria. It would be very appropriate to come up with a funny name for what happens to the child. For example, “We were attacked by an angry and funny aunt Hysteric” or “The spit attacked my baby”. In this case, the child can turn his attention to laughter. In addition, it is important that in this case he will see you not as an offender, but as a friend.
"I said no!"
Don't rush to say no - you will always have time. Because preventing a tantrum is much easier than stopping it. We, most often, without even thinking, tell our children a categorical “no” too often, instantly leading them to a violent reaction. Showing your child that you are on his side can easily prevent tantrums. You can also replace “no” with “I would like to buy you this toy, but it is too expensive”. So the child has a chance to at least think, and not immediately react to your categoricalness.
Alternative
The possibility of choice calms not only adults, but also children. You already know about when and under what circumstances a child may begin to be naughty. Therefore, it is worthwhile to discuss with him in advance possible actions and their consequences. For example, you know that in a store a child may throw up a scandal for refusing to buy this or that toy. We need to tell him in advance what you will have to do in this situation: “I am going to the store now. I can take you with me, but with the condition that you will not beg me to buy toys because I have no such opportunity. ” And if the child agrees with the condition, then we show him an alternative: “If, despite the persuasion, you start demanding and acting up, then I can’t take you to the store anymore (cinema, cafe, children's center ...). In such a case, you will be able not only to warn the hysterics in advance, but also learn to understand the causal relationships between his behavior and consequences, as well as (and it is very important!) To make your first choice in life.
Energy - in a different direction
When stressed, it will be a completely natural reaction for a child to run away or fight. Therefore, sometimes, in order to prevent a crisis, it is possible and necessary to offer the child an alternative to release his energy in the form of active games, dances or sports. After all, active actions release energy, which can accumulate precisely for the implementation of stressful reactions. The active games that you will suggest for children will help them spend their accumulated energy in a more peaceful environment. Both you and the child are happy and calm ..
Give your child the opportunity to make amends
There are situations when a child does not need to be punished for his bad behavior or misconduct. Because the child himself can feel so terrible after doing something wrong or bad that this in itself is the strongest punishment. You need to give the child the opportunity to do something symbolic, which, in his understanding, should atone for guilt and relieve tension between you. Thus, you will make it clear to your baby that he really did wrong, but you are ready to accept an apology from him. Under no circumstances should you dismiss the child's conciliatory actions or gestures, no matter how evil you are. This will be a good ground for the growth of your trust and friendship.
If you try to implement these, in fact, simple tips, you will see that soon the tantrums that horrified you will begin to happen much less often, and it will be much easier for you and your baby. And do not forget about one more important point - your child looks at you and absorbs everything, including your behavior in certain situations.
