Children grew up: how to survive an empty nest syndrome
'18.02.2020'
Source: Rambler
The syndrome of an empty nest is a deep emotional feeling of fear and loneliness, covering parents at the moment when their child begins an independent life. Rambler figured out how adults can handle this condition.
Grown children
Many parents face a dramatic period of life: children leave the family nest, travel to different cities, build their personal lives and start their families. Psychologists note: most adults who are used to seeing children every night at home, helping them with homework, preparing dinner for the whole family, buying food for several people and planning a family vacation, cannot accept the fact of growing up with joy and relief.
Some mothers with the same ardent desire are included in the lives of adult children. They may require a constant report: what he did, where he was and with whom, how much he spent, etc. Scientists at the University of Canada conducted a study: social factors have a bearing on the appearance of the syndrome and hyper-custody of children.
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Men have a feeling of losing control of their children. Women begin to identify themselves only as a parent, forgetting about their other duties and usual activities. If the family has only one child, the syndrome spreads much faster and stronger than in large families.
The first symptoms
- Tantrums.
- State of sadness.
- Difficulty with concentration.
- Depression.
- Irritation.
- Insomnia and restless dreams.
If you notice these symptoms, try to seek help from a psychologist or other specialist.
“This condition is not entirely critical, but it is scary because it can drag on for a long time. In my practice, there have been cases when mothers for several years could not reconcile with a child entering a university in another city. The last school year is very important in your communication with your child. Try to spend more time together, make sure that your child is fully prepared for adulthood, and you only worry in vain. Every adult should understand that he can never become an ideal parent, and it is impossible to convey all the important thoughts to the child at the last moment. Trust your children, now they know much more than we knew at one time, ”says Veronika Stepanova, medical psychologist.
How to deal with anxiety
Listen to your children, try to take a constructive approach to criticism and calmly respond to the life hardships of the younger generation. If you understand that your child feels comfortable in a new environment, independently copes with all the difficulties and does not try to escape home at the first opportunity, you will lose any sense of fear or anxiety.
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“If parents are constantly imposed with their anxiety, the natural reaction of an adult child is removal,” says Konstantin Karpan, a psychologist.
From birth, your children have only one development vector: from a comfortable and cozy parental home to the outside world. This is the movement from dependence to independence.
How to get rid of the syndrome
- Continue to carry out daily rituals, eliminating the waste of time doing activities for the child. Do what interests you. Look for places where you can chat with other people. Continue to develop your hobbies.
- Do not be afraid to ask for help and talk about your experiences. Your children are now adults who are ready to support you.
- Pay attention to your soulmate. Remember the time when you had no children and you were not burdened with anything. This practice will help bring the fire back into relationships.
