The miracle didn't happen: why after the holidays we feel cheated
'06.01.2022'
Source: Passion.ru
Whatever we grumble about rising prices, a pandemic (Time magazine declared 2020 the worst year of all time), a snowless winter and other things, we were still waiting for the New Year. And most of us traditionally made wishes with the chimes. It seems naive, but every year we mutter something to ourselves with hope under our breath. And already in January we are disappointed - the miracle did not happen again. How so? Explains Passion.ru.
Why do we believe in miracles
The stereotypes formed in childhood are largely to blame. The story is about the fact that "on New Year's Eve, whatever you wish, everything will always happen, everything always comes true." Growing up, we learn that it is not Santa Claus who is responsible for gifts, but parents. And not all of the envisioned will come true. To have fun celebrating the holidays, you need to try again yourself: think over with whom to meet, where, again, invest financially. And then spend the whole January in economy mode, since the estimate for gifts again exceeded the pledged amount. Yes, this year, residents of various countries spent less than usual on presents to relatives and friends, but they did. But this is not the only cause for sadness.
We traditionally spend the first days of the new year watching TV with our family, eating high-calorie salads. And this is quite a pleasant pastime, given the volume of work handed over and tedious trips to shops. Finally you can breathe out and spend a few days on the couch! At this time, psychologists say, many of us feel pleasantly satisfied and relaxed. After three or four days, everything changes: it becomes boring to stay at home, and it is not soon for work. Here the first post-holiday disappointment awaits us. You want fun, but there is only subtle anxiety and boredom.
“This is human psychology. Every person associates the New Year with the expectation of a miracle; for many, this feeling has remained from childhood on a subconscious level. Well, if not a miracle, then you definitely want positive changes - all toasts are raised for this. And when working days come after the holidays, we are again faced with routine. And where is the promised miracle, change? However, after all, they promised themselves ... In general, for a long time I don't write pieces of paper with desires and I don't drink ashes with champagne. In order not to be disappointed, it is better not to be initially fascinated. I have such an attitude and, you know, life has become a little better, ”writes one of the Web users.
“Dynamic preparation for the New Year's celebration, parties, gifts, the holiday itself lead to emotional burnout. It also happens that you need to rest from active rest. Therefore, after long holidays, many people strive to go to work as soon as possible, so that the usual rhythm of life would return to its own course, ”another shares her reflections. Both remarks are true.
On the subject: How to return to normal life after the New Year without stress and longing
What really brings joy
To avoid disappointment and boredom during the holidays, you need to think about what you will do. The best rest is the one that gives energy. And the latter still promises some kind of action. Time in the fresh air - in the forest, in the park, in the country - will affect your well-being (both physical and mental) much better. It's not for nothing that nature is considered the best resource for recovery. And it is easy to implement the plan: the park, the forest park area are available to everyone.
Another observation: the real way to increase the amount of joy is full-fledged quality communication with other people. Qualitative, that is, beneficial to both parties, when after a conversation, even with an unfamiliar person, the mood suddenly improves. Psychologists complain that this part of our life, we devote very little time. We do not invest in relationships, accumulate grievances for years, do not greet neighbors, do not compliment colleagues. While it is communication that allows us to be heard and understood. And it significantly reduces our chances of feeling empty after a string of holidays.
An important note: to avoid the post-holiday feeling of devastation, it is worth ridding yourself of Napoleonic plans. You need to dream right. And the best dream is the one after which there is something to do and something to work on. It may be worthwhile to outline a small action plan for a couple of months. And do not rush with loud phrases like: "Since January I am going to the fitness room!", "In the new year, I will quit smoking!", "In 2021, I eat right, I quit drinking!", "I'll start learning English - stop postponing!" The fact is that plans that are not being fulfilled (things that are not being done) "hang" like a dead weight in the head, taking away energy. We remember that we promised ourselves, but we have no strength - hence the typical disappointment. Try to write a to-do list for the day ahead and mark everything done with plus signs. If most of it is done, you will feel satisfied and energized. And vice versa!
On the subject: Six New Year's promises that doctors still advise to fulfill
You need to dream right
And, of course, dreaming that everything will somehow be resolved by itself, that a million dollars will appear from somewhere, a three-room apartment and a tour to the Maldives is a sure path to disappointment. Psychologists recommend focusing on the state in which you want to be, for example, "I move to my own spacious apartment, where it smells of renovation, and sunlight is pouring through the wide windows!" The brain will remember the state that promises pleasure and will force you to work in the right direction. The key word here: work, not just dream with a blissful smile on your face. After all, we do miracles ourselves and the one who is lucky is lucky.
And active people will definitely add: you should not take the post-holiday time as an excuse to lie like a seal on the couch, allowing yourself only forays into the store. Then it will be very difficult to return to working order. Be sure to plan for yourself at least one business for the day, having done which, you can indulge in rest with a sense of accomplishment. You should not wait for a mythical beautiful or terrible future: it is better to take on feasible goals ourselves and slowly move towards them. And if each of us does everything in his power in a given situation, a year later, when the unspoken time comes to take stock, there will definitely not be disappointment and emptiness.
