What surprises Americans about our family relationships: the experience of an immigrant
'16.11.2020'
Just as we are surprised by the orders and traditions in America, so Americans look at us as “under a microscope” and note the differences in everyday life and habits, says the author of the blog “Between New York and Boston” on Yandex.Zen. Next - from the first person.
Our family has been living in America for several years now, and our American friends do not miss the opportunity to talk about our (Russian) habits and never cease to be surprised at some of the family foundations. What is unusual for Americans?
Men's housework
I will not say that my husband is a “jack of all trades”, because not all breakdowns in the house can be tough. However, fixing a loose socket, hanging a mirror and shelves in the bathroom, assembling a wardrobe and repairing a table lamp is easy for him. Almost the first thing we bought when we arrived in the States was a suitcase with tools and a drill, and with our three moves and constant assembly and disassembly of furniture, these tools have paid off several times.
However, my American friends are surprised by this. In the United States, there is no such thing as “male work” and usually American men do not know how to do even basic things around the house. Maybe the feminists are to blame, or maybe the American men are just lazy, but in the event of any breakdown in the States, specially trained craftsmen are called. They will get the job done quickly and make money. On the part of the country's economy, it's great, everyone does their own business and regularly replenishes the treasury with their taxes. On the other hand, what a pity to pay for what you can do yourself within half an hour.
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Decree on 3 of the year
Americans are very surprised at our maternity leave. “How, did you sit with the child for 3 years? - American acquaintances asked me several times. - And what about the work?". Those 1,5-2 months that working American mothers usually receive after the birth of a baby does not even dare call a decree. But the Americans are used to it, because almost everyone has such a situation. Long maternity leave (up to 1 year) is also found in America, but not everyone has such. Only if the woman works for a prestigious company, in a good position and with an excellent employment contract.
Men do not go on maternity leave
The fact that most women go on maternity leave in our country was very surprising to almost all Americans with whom we touched on this topic. And although our fathers can also take maternity leave and take care of the child, letting their wife go to work, in our country this is more the exception than the rule.
In the States, both parents are given several maternity months to care for their baby, and American fathers willingly go for it. So, after the woman has served the prescribed months with the child and goes to work, the father takes over the watch and stays with the baby for several months.
Early marriage
Compared to America, in our country people get married much earlier, and there are much more couples who get married than in the States. And although the age of marriage in our country is increasing every year, it still remains low. The average age difference in marriage in Russia and in the United States is 10 years, and if they try to become newlyweds up to 40, then this figure is slowly approaching 30 in our country. The following difference follows from this.
Young families living with their parents
At a time when Americans in their 35-37 are about to get married, they usually already have a stable job and the ability to provide for themselves and their families. After marriage, both spouses can safely pull out a mortgage (with their ridiculous credit rate, of course!) And very often come to their house. Our newlyweds, as a rule, have just finished their studies and by their 25s are working at their first job (if they work), and even paying rent for a separate apartment (not to mention the purchase) for many couples becomes an unaffordable amount. Therefore, cohabitation of a young family with their parents is a forced necessity in Russia.
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Iron her shirt shirt
In our family, it so happened that ironing on me. And although American dryers moved the ironing process to a whole new level: almost nothing needs to be ironed (I just hang everything from the dryer on the hangers and in the closet), but my husband’s shirts still require iron to intervene, and I do it.
However, American women act differently, it is not customary to iron shirts for a husband. Feminists have turned our usual "female responsibilities" into the category of "relics of the past", and American men operate the iron themselves or resort to laundry services even with a wife in the house.
"Why are you stroking them?" - asked my teacher in English, when I complained in a dialogue that my husband's shirts were pretty fed up with me ... “If he makes you do it, then this is family violence. Need help! You shouldn't do what you don't want to! ”- and handed me a card with the number of the hotline for family affairs.
Original column published on the blog. "Between New York and Boston" on Yandex.Zen
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