What if your husband infuriates your friends
'15.01.2018'
Source: umnaja.ru
“Can Sasha come too?” Is a question that makes both the questioner and the respondent nervous. On the one hand, of course, you want to spend your free time with your loved one, especially when there is not much of it, but on the other hand, you don't want to offend your friends either. Project journalist umnaja.ru I tried to figure out what can be done about it.
Studies have shown that most people believe that it’s okay to take your pair with you if you ask in advance. Of course, it all depends on the format of the meeting. If you are just going to sit in a pub with friends, discuss work and joke, then why not. This also applies to all major events such as birthdays, weddings and big parties, where mostly except small current nothing happens. If this is, for example, a special meeting, the organizer has indicated that he wants to see only you, then, of course, there is no need to take any / no Sasha and ask, probably, also not worth it.
However, knowing the characters of my friends, I understand that there are those who even if you ask if they are against, they will always say: “Of course, bring them!” - but in the end they will quietly hate me. It would seem that I ask to find out the answer, but it does not always work that way.
Expert opinion
I took a comment from Mazurova Nadezhda Vladimirovna, Doctor of Psychology and Professor of the Department of Social Psychology of the Moscow Institute of Psychoanalysis:
“If the inviter did not immediately indicate that he was only inviting you, there is nothing wrong with asking. But depending on the type of person, you should choose the right form of the question, For example, if the question: "Can Sasha also go?" "
Personal experience
I also interviewed a couple of people who faced this question.
Stephanie, 42:
“For birthdays, holidays and parties, I always take my husband with me. If I have a meeting with friends, it all depends on the situation. Of course, it may be that some friends turn away from you on the pretext that you “traded” them for your lover, but this will happen only because he simply is. And true friends will remain. ”
Svetlana, 23:
“You don’t have to ask friends every time, it’s annoying. And anyway, does this “Sasha” have his own affairs or friends? ”
Vladimir, 25:
“It all depends on the relationship of friends to your partner. If a person fits normally into a company or doesn’t particularly attract attention to himself, but on the whole says adequate things, then why not take it with you? And in the questions I do not see much point, people will always lie, so as not to offend. ”
From myself I want to add that, of course, a boy or girl becomes as close or even closer than friends with time, therefore you want to spend with him / her as much free time as possible, nothing surprising in that. And free time is usually not so much. But I also want to see friends. Why not try to combine everything and just ask a question?
