What to do if your American neighbor bothers you: the experience of an immigrant
'10.08.2020'
Source: "Queen in the USA" on Yandex.Zen
Respect for personal space in America has been elevated to a cult, and yet annoying neighbors are no exception, writes the channel's author "Queen in the USA" on Yandex.Zen... A story about a conflict with a neighbor - from the first person.
Someone is "lucky" to parties, someone to scandals, me - to aggression about a child's cry.
We moved to a new apartment just before giving birth. It was lighter and more spacious than the previous one, located on the ground floor and seemed to fully meet expectations. There are only 20 apartments in the building, and everyone visually knows each other.
New neighbor
The neighbors greeted us cordially, asked many questions, congratulated us on our early addition to the family. In the apartment above us lived a lonely man in his prime, who led a rather idle lifestyle: he was at home a lot, watched movies in the evenings, was a fan of sports.
Meeting on the territory of the complex, Mike smiled affably and started a short conversation, standard for America, about the weather and nature.
On the subject: How American neighbors differ from Russian: Immigrant Impressions
The origin of aggression
After the birth of his son, everything went on as usual. The child did not cry at night, it was always easy to calm him down. By the age of 8, my son began to understand that he has a voice that can not only babble sweetly, but also shout. Sleep crises and growth spurts gradually made a little demanding person out of a puppet.
It was at this time that Mike began knocking on our walls in response to the children's cry. Time passed. The banging on the wall was joined by slamming doors, throwing furniture and screams.
Fear of being at home
I was very patient, although more than once I checked whether the door was latched, and also closed with chains. I began to fear that one day, at the moment of aggression, he would come down to us.
It is not customary here to personally sort things out with neighbors. You can call the police if your rights are violated, or contact the building manager.
Enough tolerating this
Half a year passed before I decided: enough to endure it. I wrote a letter to the manager describing the situation and my concerns. I asked them to take measures to ensure the safety of life in their mother and baby building.
In response, we received a letter stating that a warning would be issued to the tenant in the apartment above us. I must say, he immediately stopped banging on the wall and shouting, but continued to throw furniture and slam the door.
On the subject: Relations with neighbors in the USA: what is accepted and what is inappropriate
The neighbor moved out
About a month later, returning from a walk, I saw that someone was moving from our building. What was my joy to know that the neighbor from above was moving out!
Life immediately became calmer and more pleasant. Of course, I try to be quiet and respectful of my neighbors. Moreover, the audibility in American homes is phenomenal. But a child is always loud, this is how a person develops.
Have you ever had a conflict with your neighbors? How did it end?
Original column published on the blog. "Queen in the USA" on Yandex.Zen
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