What not to tell a child about a grandmother
'22.04.2022'
Source: deti.mail.ru
Moms and dads are often jealous of their children for their grandparents, especially if they actively interfere in the upbringing process. Verbal skirmishes and attempts to turn the child against the grandmother, even unconsciously, primarily harm the child himself. He absorbs words, looks, intonations and may soon begin to behave the same way with you and other relatives. What can not be said to a child about a grandmother?
“Your grandmother is always offended at us and thinks that we do not respect her”
By saying this, you yourself act as a spoiled child, writes Children Mail.Ru. It should be taken into account that many elderly people painfully perceive the lack of attention and therefore can really be overly touchy. Remember also that no one is immune from such a model of behavior - we will all grow old someday.
Instead of this: Think about how you can help your grandmother feel more important to the family. You will see - if she feels more care on your part, she will become calmer and stop pouting over trifles.
You should also not focus on family conflicts - just wait out a sharp explosion of emotions. Do not react sharply, and then continue to communicate as if nothing happened. This way you will demonstrate to your child an adult example of tolerance and the ability to forgive.
“Grandma pampers you too much, but we have different rules”
In fact, everything is correct - only parents have the right to decide exactly how to raise their child. However, putting your hand on your heart, do you sometimes want to return to your childhood under the warm wing of your grandmother, who probably allowed you a little more than mom and dad?
Instead of this: If you have a grandmother instead of a free nanny, be prepared for the fact that she has her own views on education, daily routine, requirements for a child, and so on. By the way, psychologists believe that this is even useful for a child: the experience of rebuilding from one lifestyle to another helps to adapt to different norms of behavior, and this skill will definitely come in handy in adulthood.
However, it is necessary to agree on fundamental things, as they say, on the shore: for example, how much time to devote to reading in the summer or that strawberries should be banned in order to avoid allergic reactions. Moreover, these agreements must be reached with the grandmother face to face.
“Grandma again gave you nonsense, I immediately throw this teddy freak”
Even if a granny “makes happy” a terrible-looking granddaughter with a doll or a deafeningly loud drum, you should not speak dismissively about her choice - after all, there is no arguing about tastes. Surely she chose a gift with all her heart, spending her time and money to please your child, and not at all in order to annoy you.
Instead of this: The attention of a child, especially a small one, switches very easily. If your grandmother's gift does not meet your requirements, borrow it with other toys. And the controversial present can be hidden away for now. The main thing is not to forget to put it in a conspicuous place when your grandmother comes to visit you, because many people, especially the elderly, are very kind to the things they gave.
“Grandma has no one to talk to, so she tells us her stories in the tenth round”
Older people really want to have time to pass on their knowledge to young people and share their life experiences. Yes, usually grandmothers really love to remember the past, which can seem not only to children, but also to you yourself, to no one needs “mothballs”. But is it really?
Instead of this: Take the time and energy to talk to your loved ones more often. If you learn to empathize with their stories with interest and indifference, you will surely learn a lot of interesting and useful things for yourself. Talk more often - the more communication, the more common ground. It is quite possible that you will be surprised to find that you have common interesting topics for conversation. Memories of your family's past and your own childhood can be priceless.
“Grandma is already old, so don’t pay attention to her grumbling”
With the help of this phrase you lay in the child's head the idea that all older people, to put it mildly, do not differ in the preservation of intelligence. If you repeat this often, the grown-up child will subsequently not consider it necessary to listen to you, simply because of your age.
Instead of this: In a form accessible to the child, convey the idea that the grandmother clings to him not out of bad character, but because she is worried about him. Another thing is that all people are different, and they think differently, so you may not agree with some comments.
