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To be or not to be a mother in the USA: how American women balance between family and career


A source: Rtvi

Mother's Day is celebrated in the United States on Sunday, May 13th. In addition to cakes, balls and breakfast in bed, this is also an occasion to seriously talk about motherhood, career and the role of a modern woman in society.

Фото: Depositphotos

The publication told about how this day is celebrated in the USA, as well as about the life of American mothers. Rtvi.

On American TV screens today are active preparations for the second Sunday in May - Mother's Day. There are posters all over New York reminiscent of the upcoming holiday: “Buy, give, make your mom happy!”. Americans will definitely buy, give, and delight. This tradition is more than a hundred years old - it was invented in 1908 by a resident of Philadelphia, Anna Jarvis, in honor of her mother. Anna herself was not destined to become a mother, but thanks to her, in mid-May, flower shops and American mothers have a red calendar day.

Of the 326 million people in America, 51% (167 million) are women, but only half are mothers. For the rest, there is no holiday, because on International Women's Day (March 8), American women are not offered mimosa and sweets.

For fashion historian and journalist Bronwyn Cosgrave, all 365 days a year are women and holidays. At almost 52, she's glad she didn't spend the most productive years of her life on sleepless nights and diapers.

“To be honest, I never really wanted children, because I felt great without them! I don't think every woman is born to be a mother. But this unrealized “maternal energy” can be directed in another direction, for example, to become a mentor for young colleagues, ”the woman said.

Parents, aunts and colleagues at work Bronwyn do not understand. But a former magazine editor who realized herself in a career (Vogue I am convinced that not everything in life is tied to children.

“My father told me that after 30 it would be too late to give birth. He has a traditional view of things, perhaps because he was born in Dublin. But I grew up in the eighties - this was a new era, the era of women careerists. And I never pay attention to what society expects from me, "- admitted Casgrave.

Фото: Depositphotos

Especially if society or the state of the expectant mother is not help. There is practically no parental leave in America. The employer is obliged to give the mother in childbirth only 12 weeks of rest. It's less than three months. They can be taken before delivery, but the duration of the decree will not change from this. And then - the child can either stay at home with a nanny, or go to a nursery. Both the first and the second will cost a tidy sum - from a thousand dollars a month, there are no free nurseries in America. And with kindergartens it's not easier.

In general, being a mother in the United States is very difficult, and no less difficult. - Don't be a mom here. Society in the United States loves to follow tradition. Social pressure: "come on, come on, give birth as soon as possible", - call on relatives and friends.

Dana Serikova, a native of Nalchik, made the choice between career and motherhood without much pain. She did not want to quit her job, and after giving birth, spent less than two months at home, returned to the office, but the role of the mother made its own adjustments - especially after the question arose: what and how to keep her two-year-old child occupied. Together with her friend, Dana developed an application for smartphones: to help herself and other mothers in New York.

"I was trying to find an application about how Uberso that you can find and enroll the child in a circle through it. But nothing like that happened, and so the idea of ​​my application was born. A startup appeared 8 months ago, ”Serikova said.

In the end, Dana is balancing between family and work for herself.

“I spoke with some acquaintances in Russia, and many of them are surprised by American holidays for new mothers. And when I say that the decree here is only 12 weeks, they, of course, fall into shock, ”the woman said.

Фото: Depositphotos

Felisha Madison was preparing to become a doctor, but in 30 years she became a mother, and decided not to be distracted by other matters. Not entrusted the education of the heirs or the gardens or nannies. I raised three children and only after that answered the question of who she herself wants to be when she grows up. A new lesson threw a bright experience of motherhood. The wife of a successful businessman decided to become a comedian Felish not for money, but for the soul.

“Stand-up comedy is a lot about my 16-year-old daughter, she throws up an infinite amount of material for scenes, just like my husband. In general, I talk a lot about my marriage, my children, even about the dog - everything goes into action, everyone becomes the heroes of my performances, ”Felisha admitted.

Mother's Day she will spend with her mom.

“I think that every mother on this day would just like to run away from everyone and everything, but very few people succeed. I am most likely going to breakfast with my mom. And then for dinner with my husband and children, ”the comedian said.

This is such an American tradition. At least 26 billions of dollars. In this amount, the love of Americans for their mothers is estimated by the Association of US Sellers.

And this fact greatly upset the foremother of Mother's Day, Anna Jarvis. Before her eyes, a modest family holiday, following the example of Christmas, turned into a commercial trap for ordinary people. For the rest of her life, for almost a quarter of a century, Anna unsuccessfully tried to take and cancel the holiday. But Mother's Day in America traditionally comes on schedule - on the second Sunday in May.

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