Male gaze: once again about our diverse planetary incompatibility
'07.02.2021'
And really, how could it happen that men who are from monkeys began to cohabit with women who ... from heaven? Well, that is, from another planet, which is definitely not Earth. I'm talking about cohabitation in a good way.
After all, nothing more diverse can be imagined. A man - simple, rude, unambiguous, honest, definite, direct, reliable ... At least that was the case at the beginning. What was he doing? Basically, he worked in two directions: then, he ran after the beast, then he ran away from it. In between, he sharpened arrowheads, slept, ate, sometimes, when instinct demanded, he mated with someone who was closer. So simple, without too much trouble. Without plans for the future, promises of eternal ... and regular change of curtains in the bathroom ...
What are the claims to him? None. Has nature cut it out of stone? Everything!! What it is, it is. And the woman? We don't know where she comes from at all. All these tales about ... from the rib of Adam, an improved version of a man ... some more. All nonsense, whim and shameless lies. They were abandoned from another planet as an experiment. So they live here on our earth. Doubt? Think about it.
Everything that a normal man needed a million years ago is still needed today. I will not remind you. You know. And to them, the aliens? I list some of those who came to earth with them: sadness, sadness, sentimentality, fashion, boredom, makeup, costumes-dresses-lingerie-shoes with heels-gloves, hats, veils, garters, bows, lace, stockings, fringe, thoughtfulness, uncertainty, longing, irritation, PMS, fights and wars between men because of them ... and more and more and more ... We, those who are from the monkey, did not really need all this and are not really necessary. Because we are from the earth, and here without this one can perfectly exist.
And further. Who do you think invented the "and talk?" Rude hunter? The one who came running from the hunt, thanks for being alive, and demanded to talk to him? Are you kidding? He ate what was, fell by the fire and fell asleep in a dead sleep. And she, which alien? She kept the fire all day long, cooked food, fed the kids, sewed clothes, tidied up the cave, constantly thinking about repairs ... Give her a bidet that the ceiling has become a boring color (it is generally not clear what that means ... boring color), this cave, and it would be good to think about expanding and improving living conditions ... Of course, she has a dreary soul (words brought from space). And just then he came home, since there is nowhere else to go. And she somehow thought to herself ... why not talk to him? Since he has already come? But he is exhausted, tired, his brain does not work ... So he did not realize where the wind was blowing from. And now, because of this absurdity of his, we all have to talk to them. At least about anything, at least about nothing. From our male point of view - most often about nothing. And if he, the hunter, our ancestor, would have been firmer, would have insisted on his own, would not have given up slack, involving himself in this deadly game of juggling with words, how much in vain ... Today we could live on earth according to earthly concepts, and not unsuccessfully to master alien technologies of linguistic communication with them ... With girls, ladies and women in general.
On the subject: Male view: how an intelligent woman can make her husband successful
You are probably funny, and you think that all these are fairy tales and compositions. And ask any rude bumpkin at a time when his mind is clouded. You, ladies, will figure out for yourself what moments it is convenient to do, and you will find out, if you are still not aware, that between torture and a conversation with you ... most of us will choose torture, especially if they are not the most sophisticated. Because “a talk” to this day (which we normally never admit to) is still the torture that we are trying with all our might to avoid.
From there bachelor parties, football, hockey, fishing trips, hunting, drinking, bathing, playing cards with friends ... Anything, even sleep on nails, even walking on coals, just not to get caught up in conversation. It is terribly inconvenient, incomprehensible, harmful and generally meaningless. You sit and talk with her: what is unclear, why is not clear ... You sit, endure, hope that it will end soon and think: how great was it to the one who lived in the cave even BEFORE her, alien, the monstrous idea that killed more than one billion normal wild men came to mind for the first time.
And now - now we have a complete pandemic. All the ladies want to talk. Moreover, we are sitting locked in one room. Nowhere to hide. How long can you sit in the toilet, fix the roof, or take out the trash? And going back is scary and in general it is impossible in any case. They will grab you with an iron grip and immediately begin to torture you with conversations. And this is such torture ... it would be better right away ... and that's it! .. because there are no more strengths ... But this cannot be said, since they will be tortured even more. Sophisticated and long.
“Why, yes why, and how long have you been like this, and don't you already / still / still love me? And look around, all husbands are like husbands, but only I have one who is taciturn ... And what, am I not smart enough for you, educated, beautiful, desirable, well-groomed, one and only? " And so on, in the same spirit, right down the list. All my life ... until the grave ...
What earthling can think of this? Well. And you say - fairy tales are all about other planets. No, my dears, not fairy tales. Take a look around. Here they are, all here. We have filled the earth and I will not save from them !!! So, the inscriptions “Save yourself who can” and “Don't get in - kill” are outdated and no longer solve any problem. Though…
But what if you carefully find out from which planet he arrived? Since they all arrived here, then they are no longer there? And we will all gather quietly and wave there ... to relax in silence. And what, in my opinion, is quite an elegant and working idea. So let's gather in flocks of interest and start preparing for departure. This is a serious matter, it requires a thorough study of the plan and preparation for its implementation. Where is my toothbrush, razor and slippers, I don't understand. You will need to ask her before leaving, otherwise go and know what they have on another, quiet planet in the shops ...
On the subject: Male view: why adultery does not exist and is it worth living together 'for the sake of children'
As soon as I wrote ... and immediately remembered that I once wrote a poem on this topic. Apparently, I've been thinking about this for a long time ... And somehow I don't have enough time to pack up and fly away ...
Who understands whom?
(Serious joke)
Boys girls don't understand
Boys play other games
Boys want sexy dreams
For girls - quivering words, not banal.
Boys girls don't understand
Love games are mistaken for love
Riding bliss is called a kiss
Then you go, they say: "Do not spoil."
Boys girls don't understand
Girls crush them under themselves,
They spoil with gingerbread, whip with a whip,
Fix the door - you'll get sex later.
Girls give birth to children to boys,
Boys think it's chains
To bind you more tightly
Twist your legs and oblige to pay.
The girls, apparently, do not understand:
Different boys surround them -
Rarely - heavenly, pure, tender,
More often - earthly, simple, careless.
Boys don't understand girls.
The girls smile from ear to ear
And the boys are growing self-esteem
Sobriety of mind is questionable.
Boys girls are very jealous
And sometimes they train like animals,
They are accustomed to the hostess and the bowl,
- Nearby, and soon borscht and sausages.
Boys girls are jealous too
Are angry, followed and rebelled,
We would like to put them in a cage,
Thinking where to buy a collar?
Girls are set for family life,
Boys are upset at this prospect,
Girls want a Prince and affection
Boys - business, and they have no time for fairy tales.
It's impossible for girls to understand
Boys are anxious and difficult with them,
The pride goes off scale - nobody gives up
In family life, it remains to endure.
... the hour of the truce, the hour of the attack,
An hour of discussion, an hour of observation,
An hour of submission, an hour of silence -
And the continuation of the Cold War ...
Wars - without tanks spitting buckshot,
But not without sacrifices, not without blood flowing,
And, truce aktik reluctantly,
They will go on vacation, gritting their teeth.
Boys girls don't understand
Boys don't let girls into the brain
Girls to boys dance the cancan
Boys set a trap for girls.
It's time to make a decision
After all, they do not come out with an agreement,
I express it clearly,
You know what: live separately!
Boys boys understand everything
Girls take girls in a circle,
There is no need to torment one and the other,
They do not need one peace for two.
Divide the land with a wide border,
A deep trench near the border,
We will stretch the wire and conduct the current
And finally, let's take a calm sigh.
No more problems of coercion
No offense and no judgment
You don't have to get your hair cut, don't wash, don't shave,
Girls walk without makeup.
Quiet and smooth, calm and friendly,
You don't need to do Brazilian Wax.
Will something come out of this idea,
Is the current high, are the trenches deep?
Suddenly we can't do it - there is no guarantee,
Maybe master another planet
The full population would be swept there,
So that we all have a rest from each other.
We'll get bored for a year, the arguments will settle down,
Let's sit down for negotiations again ...
You gotta get bored to the point of stupidity
Before an organismic earthquake.
Maybe, bored, we will understand something
Or we will find our relatives in each other.
I'll be honest: I'm not sure about that,
My script was not verified by someone.
The time has come, the hour of separation has come!
... I think I ... would not risk it.
Maybe we can endure until a better day
Boy girls, can you hear me?
If you want to talk with me about it - go to my page in facebook.
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