Confession of an immigrant: what is not to say
'06.04.2019'
Source: Key
What is a move to another country? Discovery of everything new, adaptation and acquaintance with local traditions, language learning and an unlimited amount of unforgettable emotions? It is such joyful pictures that are full of blogs of those who, for whatever reason, decided to change their country of residence. But are all these colorful tales about the lightness of being of an emigrant so true, or is every tale every time having its price and counteracting force? What psychological difficulties does almost every migrant go through, and what can make him regret his decision?
In the article for Key Alexandra Mishina-Golizano on a personal example opens the curtain of true psychological perception of moving to another country and shares what is not to be said.
Psychology of Adaptation
The high interest of specialists in the issue of psychology and perception of emigration has arisen since the middle of the twentieth century, when the level of those wishing to move to other countries reached unprecedented proportions. Then, in 1954, the Canadian anthropologist Kalervo Oberg presented the well-known theory - “U-curve of adaptation”.
Despite the fact that over the next 60 years, psychologists from around the world who considered this idea to be too narrow and conditional, presented many alternatives, it is U theory that can most accurately describe the states and stages of perception of emigration that most of those who decide to change their country of residence pass through.
The “U-curve of adaptation” theory involves the passage of 4 main stages.
At the same time, Oberg himself clarifies that not every emigrant goes through all the stages: some may feel the move easier, others - more emotionally, and some may even be stuck at one of the stages.
Stage №1: tourist
In theory: during this period, which usually lasts no more than 3's months, the emigrant is in complete euphoria from everything he saw. New places, new emotions, new people and a new language - absolutely everything seems previously unknown and wants to taste every moment of what is happening.
The emotions are so strong that from moving you start to feel butterflies in your stomach, falling in love with life in a new way.
In practice: what to hide, only having moved to Rome, I felt huge wings behind my back, like Pegasus had. It seemed that I got into a fairy tale and I want to know absolutely everything in this city and the country as a whole. Everyday situations, learning a language, visiting sights - every moment of the first months of life in the Italian capital caused infinitely naive children's happiness.
Stage # 2: growing frustration
In theory: a few months after the move, the rose-colored glasses begin to fall from their eyes, and the magic fireflies go out. The prolonged adaptation at the new place, the first problems, difficulties in learning the language, lack of understanding of others, the realities of life that have opened up - absolutely everything begins to cause negative emotions that develop into constant comparisons of the new country with their homeland.
Everything seems gray, and you begin to wonder if you have made a fatal mistake.
The situation is worsened by remoteness from the family, and insufficient knowledge about the country of relocation, psychological unpreparedness for emigration and sometimes inadequate perception of the “other” (for example, the mentality of local residents) negatively affect the migrant. During this period, many begin to feel the growing crisis and aggression towards everything around them.
In practice: was it? In all its glory: a huge amount of effort in learning the language did not always bring sufficient results, so I was afraid to talk on the phone and go to government institutions on my own.
The remoteness from the family now and then brought it to hysterics and unbearable longing, and the impossibility of finding a job because of a young age for Italy - to anger.
What to say about the endless circulation of documents! However, it is important to note that this stage in my life went quickly enough, since I had preconfigured myself to the possible difficulties of the move, was ready to meet them face to face, was completely open to accepting “the other” and “sometimes not close to me” and repudiated from all existing stereotypes about Italy.
Stage No.3: device
In theory: after a few years of living in a new country, the emigrant begins to get used to living in a foreign land, accepts almost all the minuses and advantages (often forcing himself), acquires the first friends among local residents. Having solved the problems that have arisen earlier, having studied the language properly, having received a sufficient amount of knowledge about life from within and having accepted the environment as it is, you no longer look at emigration in gloomy shades, and the situation itself as desperate.
You begin to perceive the local mentality is not so far from the usual, and the positive aspects of life here begin to emerge more and more often.
In practice: to be frank, I would say that hard work on your fears and experiences helped me smoothly and fairly quickly move from the second stage of adaptation to the third. After just one year of living in Italy, I independently took the first “Italian” job, which helped me to get used to the realities of local life and cope with many difficulties. Language skills have reached a new, higher level, and my Italian family has fed my spirit from the inside.
Stage №4: biculturalism / full adaptation
In theory: at this stage, the emigrant has already fully mastered the site and no longer perceives the country of moving as something new and incomprehensible. The problems that arise are no longer felt like “the whole world is against me, the poor emigrant,” but are solved in the same way as it was at home. Locals no longer seem “different”, and the traditions of this country are getting closer, the language is almost native (it does not work if the emigrant continues to communicate more time exclusively with compatriots). Of course, remoteness from the family continues to haunt melancholy and melancholy, like a gloomy shadow, but one cannot get away from it.
In practice: at the moment, after 4 years of living in Italy, I am between the third and fourth stages of psychological adaptation. I no longer see myself as an emigre, but rather as a biculturalist.
The local language has become for me as a native language - so much so that even dreams I dream exclusively in Italian.
The traditions of this country no longer seem to be something unusual; several Italian friends have appeared in my life. And the most important thing is that I am no longer afraid to make phone calls and walk independently on various instances (do not laugh, for me it was harder than finding a job). But I think that there is no limit to perfection, so I will continue to develop both my Italian and Russian sides.
It’s possible that not all emigrants go through the specified adaptation stages of 4, because everyone has their own history and reasons for changing their country of residence. However, the indisputable fact remains that it is important to morally prepare in advance for the move, to change absolutely all spheres of life and to the need to accept the “new”. Naturally, this will not help get rid of all persecution and problems that haunt the immigrants, but will definitely contribute to the mildest adaptation and avoidance of acute crises of the first years of emigration.
Did you go through the stages of getting used to the new country that Kalervo Oberg spoke about in his theory? How many years did it take you to feel at home in a new country?
