9 ways to answer an inappropriate question: advice from psychologists
'30.10.2020'
Source: ADME
People who ask annoying questions don't always want to hurt you. They can hurt to the core, but they are guided by good motives. So first you should think about what caused this or that question, and then answer it. Otherwise, you risk being rude yourself. And how to react in such situations, psychologists told the portal ADME.
Ignore
Instead of getting annoyed with an unpleasant question, try to stay calm. Count to 10 in your head and try not to let the sharp remarks affect your attitude towards yourself. Try to turn the conversation around or start chatting with non-aggressive people.
- What's wrong with the man again?
“It looks like your lunch is already warmed up.
Mirror the question
It is often worth answering a question with a question and putting your opponent in an awkward position. If the person did not try to offend you, then such an answer will not hurt him, and if he had bad motives, then he will siege.
- Do you know that your husband looks at all girls?
- Really? And I saw yours yesterday. So he did not take his eyes off me.
Translate as a joke
Oddly enough, a lot of people touch on slippery topics when they want to establish closer, warm connections. They just make it awkward and unpleasant for both participants in the conversation. In this case, one of the easiest ways to answer the question and deal with the growing irritation is to joke.
- Do you have your own hair?
- No, I bought it at the sale.
Refuse to answer
Sometimes it's helpful to just set personal boundaries without being too aggressive. You do not have to answer any question that is asked to you. Tell them that you are not ready to talk about it now or are not used to discussing such topics with outsiders.
- Your Sashka hasn't been working for a year, but you bought a car. How much did you give for it?
"Do you really think I'll answer?"
thank
Difficult topics are often raised by people with psychological problems who are incapable of empathy, or those who are genuinely trying to help. In either case, thanking for your attention and care means showing your maturity and that it is not so easy to piss you off with an unpleasant phrase.
- Are you sure you will eat it? Do you know how many calories there are?
- Thank you for your concern, but yes, I will!
On the subject: Psychologist's point of view: 5 types of men with whom you cannot build relationships
Put such a person in an awkward position too
Another easy way to ignore a phrase you don't like is to just pretend you didn't hear it. If a person wanted to offend or hurt you, then your indifference and a polite smile will deprive him of his inner balance. Instead of reacting emotionally to the comment, get the person to explain what they mean. As a result, next time he just won't want to ask you awkward questions.
- Don't you make money at all, that you dress so poorly?
- What?
- You do not earn well, I say?
- I do not understand the question.
Admit the truth
Nothing discourages an aggressive opponent more than the fact that you are calm about his words, ideally with a dose of humor. If someone is making fun of the shape of your nose, joke about that topic without waiting for someone to do it first. Or simply admit that the person is right, thus ending the conversation without unnecessary emotions.
- It seems to me or have you recovered?
- There is. So when do you and I go to fitness?
Don't refuse help
If relatives vying with each other offer to set you up with a person of your age or offer their help, sometimes you should not refuse, but try to set your own conditions. Describe how you see the ideal candidate for the role of spouse and do not back down one iota. There will be only 2 possible scenarios for the development of events: either they will lag behind you, or ... you accidentally get what you want.
- Why do you eat so little, are you not sick? So thin ...
- Thanks for work. Can I have a few more of these caviar sandwiches? I hear she's very helpful!
On the subject: 20 psychologist's answers to uncomfortable questions that you were embarrassed to ask out loud
Respond in kind
To respond with aggression to aggression is a bad option. But, unfortunately, some people like to deliberately violate social norms, "drain" negative emotions on others, or they can recoup you, because they themselves were once in a similar unpleasant situation.
- Why don't you wear short skirts? You're a woman.
- Why don't you go to the gym? You're a man.
And if this happens from day to day, for example at work, then there are few options: to learn how to remain calm, to change the team until health has suffered, or to respond in kind. Just do not create a wave effect - do not transfer your irritation to other colleagues or loved ones, just try to put an end to the relationship with a specific person.
