Nine Phrases That Will Become a Fatal Mistake in Conversation
'22.03.2021'
Source: Cluber
These seemingly harmless words can lead to disgusting consequences.
We all spoke phrases that the source understood quite differently from what we had planned. These seemingly harmless words can lead to disgusting consequences. The very feeling that someone hit you in the stomach writes Cluber.
Such “reservations” often occur because we simply do not fully understand the whole meaning of a phrase. In order to understand, you need to have a skill called “social awareness”. This implies the ability to feel the emotions of people around you, as well as to take into account their life experiences.
The company TalentSmart, exploring emotional intelligence, conducted a test, which was attended by more than a million people. Based on the results, it was concluded that many of us have not developed the skill of social awareness. Why? This is because at the time of the conversation we are only thinking about what to say next. In short, we absolutely forget about the person with whom we communicate.
On the subject: 5 phrases about yourself that give low self-esteem and deprive confidence
That's the whole problem. People are complex creatures. As long as you do not pay all your attention to the interlocutor, do not even hope that you can understand him. The beauty of social awareness is simplicity. Small corrections in the style of communication will have a very positive effect on your relationships with others.
There are some phrases that people with a high level of emotional intelligence try not to use in their speech. Below we have given nine phrases that may offend the interlocutor.
1. "You look tired"
Being in the company of a tired person is not the most pleasant pastime. He has a haggard look, he has difficulty concentrating, and may be grumbling. The phrase “You look tired” implies all of the above, and maybe something else worse.
- Do not say this phrase. You'd better just ask, “Is everything okay?”
Most people use the phrase “You look tired” with good intentions. They just want to know if the person is all right. Ask this question directly, do not make assumptions. In this case, it is much more likely that the person will open up to you and share what is happening. In addition (and this is very important), you will not look like a rude person in his eyes. He will understand that you are simply concerned about his condition.
2. “Great! You threw a bunch of kilograms! ”
This is another phrase that is uttered out of good intentions, wanting to make a compliment. However, it blows from her negative. This phrase emphasizes that in the past man was very fat and looked unattractive.
- Do not say this phrase. Instead, say: "You look amazing."
It's all very simple. Do not compare how a person looked in the past and now.
3. “He didn't deserve you anyway.”
A person may have problems in a relationship. This phrase implies that he made the wrong choice or made a mistake.
- Do not say this phrase. Better say: "He lost a lot."
There is no criticism in this phrase. She is positive and expresses your support.
4. "You always ..." or "You never ..."
People are multifaceted. Therefore, you should not try to drive them into some kind of framework. Phrases like this signal that a person must protect himself from you. Therefore, he no longer delves into the meaning of your further words. This is very bad, because such phrases are pronounced when it comes to something really important.
- Do not say these phrases. Better to just say what the person (in your opinion) did wrong.
Rely on concrete facts. If the problem is in behavior, you can label it with phrases like: “It seems you do it quite often” or “You do it quite often. I could not help but notice. ”
5. "You look great for your age"
Reference to age is a kind of measure. This is always unacceptable and rude. No one wants to hear that he is smart enough for an athlete. And older people absolutely do not want to hear that they look good for their age. They just want to hear that they are smart and slim.
- Do not say this phrase. Better say, "You look great."
Here, everything is also very simple. A sincere compliment is not based on comparison.
6. "As I already said…"
We all forget from time to time. A phrase like this suggests that you are offended by having to repeat what you have said before. This, in turn, offends your interlocutor (who is really interested to hear your point of view).
If you are offended by the need to repeat what has already been said, this also says something about you. For example, the fact that you are not confident or believe that you are better than anyone else. (Perhaps, and the, and another!).
- Do not pronounce this phrase. If you still say it, try to correct it.
Try to find a way to explain your thoughts more easily. Formulate differently, then the interlocutor will surely remember everything that you told him about.
7. "Good luck"
This word is ambiguous. There is nothing wrong with wishing someone good luck. Still, you can do it better. Just wishing good luck, you kind of say that a person’s success depends solely on how lucky he is.
- Better to say: "I know you have everything to succeed."
This is much better than just wish good luck. This phrase implies that a person has all the necessary skills in order to achieve the desired. She gives even more confidence in herself and her strengths. He will definitely remember exactly what you said to him.
8. "Decide for you" or "As you like"
Yes, you may not care. That's just the person who asks you about something, it is very important to hear your opinion. (Otherwise he would not ask you).
- Do not say these phrases. Better say: “I am not an expert, but there is something to think about. For example…".
Expressing your opinion (at the same time, without becoming on any side), you show that you are not indifferent to a person.
9. "I, at least, never ..."
This phrase is a kind of aggressive way to switch attention from one to another. In particular, from your mistake to the old mistake of the interlocutor. It is noteworthy that this error may in no way concern the situation in the present. Anyway, for this misstep, you should have forgiven him for a long time.
- Do not say this phrase. Better say: “I'm sorry.”
Admitting your mistake is the best way to talk calmly, discuss everything thoroughly and find a rational solution. Admitting your guilt is the most effective way to avoid a serious quarrel.
These seemingly trivial things greatly affect communication. Try to follow these tips, and you will be surprised how incredible the result of your efforts will be.
