8 phrases that you absolutely can’t say to yourself
'23.10.2019'
Source: Life hacker
The more you suggest to yourself that you will not succeed, the higher the likelihood that this will happen. Here are phrases that you can’t say to yourself so as not to lose the chance of success. Actual for both women and men.
1. "I'm an idiot"
Remaking an important project for the third time? Can't figure out what is written in the textbook? We decided to do programming in Python, but did your head spin from new information? At such moments, it is not difficult to doubt your intellectual abilities and reward yourself with some offensive epithets, writes Life hacker.
But instead of scolding yourself, try using more careful phrases. For example, “I have strengths and weaknesses. Programming is really difficult. We’ll have to devote more time and effort to this. ” Otherwise, you will eventually convince yourself that you do not shine with your mind - and thus cut off your path to interesting projects and new knowledge.
2. "I am a loser! I can’t do anything ”
Usually we say this when we are tired and the world appears in very gloomy colors. At such moments, one last thing is enough to give up and exclaim: “Well, why am I always unlucky!”
However, this is a very general and categorical phrase, and usually there are no significant facts behind it.
Try replacing such expressions with a more neutral version: “Yes, in my life there are ups and downs. But I do as much as I can, and as good as I can at the moment. "
3. “It’s my own fault”
Sometimes we try to push responsibility to others, and sometimes we go to the other extreme and begin to blame ourselves for all our troubles, and at the same time others' troubles. This is not constructive and can spoil the mood for a long time and destroy motivation. Try saying: “What happened is my role. But I am only responsible for my actions and decisions, and not for the whole situation as a whole. ”
On the subject: 27 phrases that absolutely can not speak to her husband
4. "They probably think that I ..."
Oh, this is our eternal delusion - to consider ourselves the center of the universe and to think that everyone around us is very concerned about how we look, what we say and do. All this, of course, comes from self-doubt: we, in fact, attribute to others our own thoughts.
That is, it is not your classmates at the alumni meeting who think that you are a loser, but you yourself consider it to be.
And even if some strangers are really not happy with you, it still does not mean anything. So replace the alarming “They think that I ...” with this wording: “They can think anything, it’s their right. But their opinion is only their opinion, it does not say anything about me. ”
5. “I am a lazy person and a procrastinator”
It happened to everyone: I was going to work, went to the Internet to look for important information, link after link - and now three hours passed, and you read about plastic surgeries by Kim Kardashian or watch a documentary about a drop-fish.
After that, guilt will fall on anyone: how could it be that I had to do something useful, but instead ... I am lazy, dull and passive, I will never achieve anything. Only here from such self-flagellation nobody will feel better.
Guilt is one of the causes of prolonged procrastination. We waste time, then blame ourselves for this and believe that the day is already ruined and it’s pointless to get down to business. Therefore, it is better to replace unconstructive statements with something like “Today is just such a day, I needed to rest. And tomorrow I'll catch up. ”
6. "Nothing will ever work out for me!"
Everyone, of course, dreams of a bright, bright and comfortable future. But to believe in it is not always easy - especially if failures are streaming from all sides. Decadent thoughts immediately begin to creep into my head: "I will never achieve anything, I will not succeed in anything and die in poverty."
The likelihood that this will happen will be much higher if you continue to scold yourself.
Scientists interviewed 117 athletes, each of whom was given instructions on how to conduct an internal dialogue. Some of the participants gave themselves instructions that were not emotionally colored in any way; the athletes from the second group tried to motivate themselves. The third group praised themselves, the fourth scolded and intimidated. The indicators did not differ too much from each other, but the athletes from the first three groups nevertheless showed higher athletic performance and were more confident than those who criticized themselves.
If you really want to despair and doubt yourself, you can do it in a more gentle way: “Yes, I understand that failure can wait for me. But this is no reason not to try. In any case, I will draw valuable experience from this story. ”
On the subject: Why you can not tell anyone about your dreams and plans
7. “I missed such an opportunity! But he could try a little! ”
From us, sometimes impressive earnings, interesting offers and useful contacts float away. Sometimes we ourselves are to blame for this, and sometimes things are so. But before plunging into regrets, remember that failure happens to absolutely everyone.
For example, not so long ago, the hashtag # was very popular in social networks. Under it, a variety of people, even successful and famous, told how they failed when entering a university, admission to work or during important negotiations.
Therefore, before you sigh about the lost and torment yourself, try to express this thought in a different way: “I did not succeed here. Therefore, I’ll gobble it up a bit, and then I will analyze my mistakes and will work on them. ” And you can remember what happened in your life due to the “failure”. For example, if you were hired by a dream, you would not get into a small company and not meet your half there.
8. “They always succeed. Not like mine ... "
I wonder if there is at least one person in the world who has not been compared with others since childhood?
Petya has already eaten porridge, but you are not. Masha got five, and you are three. All your classmates are already married, and you will sit alone.
Of course, we get used to the fact that all the time there are some Masha and Petit who are a priori better than us. And we persistently compare ourselves with them, hoping that we are not inferior to them in anything. And, of course, we often lose the comparison, because someone will definitely have greener grass.
Instead of envying others and cruelly scolding yourself, look at the situation from a different angle: “He tried hard, and that's what he came to. I have something to learn from him. " There is enough success in the world, money and love for each of us.
