Everyone in life has witnessed a situation when, after a long relationship, the couple broke up, and then the man made an offer to the notorious first meet. This behavior is surprising and raises a completely natural question: why does one woman not receive the coveted ring even after years spent together, while the other acquires the status of a bride literally the next day after they met?
To try to comprehend the male logic and understand the issue that has plagued more than one generation of women around the world, offers Adme.ru.
1. A suitable woman does not exist. The main thing is to be at the right time with a man
An opinion was published in one of the social networks that men do not marry at the moment when they meet “the love of their life,” but when they are ready to start a family. The Twitter user was interested in this theory, and she asked the representatives of the stronger sex to comment on it. And almost unanimously, the gentlemen on the network admitted that everyone had a relationship that they regret breaking up, but this did not stop them from getting married when there was a suitable candidate for the role of wife nearby.
There is another popular situation that pushes for marriage: if a woman, whom a man was trying to achieve, marries another. In this case, there is no more chance, and if the loneliness becomes unbearable, then the unlucky groom chooses the bride from the available options. It turns out that men are not waiting for a meeting with "the same one", and the marriage proposal will be received by the girl who will be next to the person who is psychologically ripe for marriage at the right time.
Scientists have named the best age for starting a family from 28 to 32 years old. After this trait, the chances of a man wanting to marry begin to diminish, and after 42, they dwindle.
2. You cannot build a family on physical attraction
Studies have shown that the happier are those couples in which the woman is more attractive than her companion. But, as noted by John T. Molloy, author of Why Men Marry Some Women and Don't Marry Others, it is important that the lady's appearance is not vulgar. John asked more than 3 men to describe their brides, and only 500% of grooms used adjectives that related to appearance ("luxurious", "attractive", "sexy"), the remaining 20% spoke about character traits and personality. Men noted that grooming is an important point when choosing a chosen one, but her appearance should not be defiant. The most popular opinion was the following: a woman should look so that she would not be ashamed to appear anywhere.
3. The opinions of friends and parents can influence the decision to marry
Even if a man looks very independent, then the opinion of people close to him directly or indirectly influences the choice of the chosen one. So, friends play an important role at the stage of dating, and their opinion can speed up the process of falling in love with a girl, and parental approval can be decisive for a marriage proposal. Needless to say, there are often cases when the image of the daughter-in-law in the parents' fantasies does not coincide with the girl whom their son brings to the house?
4. The man is sure that everything suits the woman
More precisely, it is women who pretend that everything is in order, and they "do not want" to get married. If this is really so, then it is good, but if not, then the chosen one will never guess that some step is expected from him, because men do not read well between the lines, but they draw conclusions well. Therefore, when at some point the girl's patience bursts, she packs up her things and leaves, the man will analyze the situation and, having met another who is not afraid to bring clarity to the relationship, he will not pull and offer her marriage so that she does not leave like the previous one. ...
Psychologists say that couples without conflicts at the very beginning of a relationship have no future and you need to stop being shy about openly expressing your opinion. It is those women who prefer to keep silent about their desires that are left without a wedding ring. 73% of future wives admitted that they stubbornly “pressed” the man and insisted on marriage, and did not wait for their lover to offer himself to go to the registry office.
5. Cohabitation reduces the likelihood of a wedding celebration by 2 times
Psychologists warn women that they should be especially careful about the idea of living together outside of marriage. Most men offer a hand and heart after 22 months after the beginning of the novel, then the chance starts to decrease by 20%, after 3 years this figure will increase to 50%, and after 7 years of relationship, the probability that you will get married is zero.
And do not forget about the difference in perceptions: women believe that living together is the first step towards marriage, while a man, on the contrary, “forgets” about the need to register a relationship and thinks that they “already have a family”.
6. A woman is comfortable for a given period of time, but not for the future
It also happens that a man wants to get married, but only when he reaches certain heights: he will be promoted at work, he will buy an apartment or a country house, and so on. He does not want to be left alone in this difficult period on the way to goals, so he is looking for a woman who will support him. But this is only for a while.
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A “comfortable” woman, without high demands, who is always ready to make concessions - not for the life he dreams of. She does not cause excitement, a desire to test herself, and from such lovely young ladies there is no dependence, which happens in the case of bitchy ladies. And if a man becomes successful, then he wants to stay in good shape, and for such a situation you need one that will constantly spur him on and challenge him, forcing her man to achieve more both for himself and for her.
7. Not all relationships should end with a wedding
From childhood, the girl is taught to think that any boy who pays attention to her automatically becomes her fiancé. Often, relatives make fun of this topic and ask when they will take a walk at her wedding. But every year this issue becomes more serious. And the girl grows up with the installation: if the relationship is long, then they can have only one ending - the creation of a family. Only here in men such a stereotype rarely exists, which is why there is a misunderstanding between the sexes.
Of course, it is a pity for the time spent and you can even try to keep a person, but then you have to live with the knowledge that he is next to you not of his own free will. It is worth remembering that it is difficult for a man to give up his goal, and if he is confident in his choice, he is unlikely to waste time and avoid serious conversations. There are no convinced bachelors (right, George Clooney?) - there are women whom men do not want to marry, but do not dare to say it out loud.
Perhaps you have your own observations on this subject and in your environment men have made (or have not) made a marriage proposal for other reasons. Share your thoughts in the comments.