6 outdated stereotypes that hinder our work, relationships and safety
'03.08.2020'
Source: Adme
Stereotypes can be useful and can even save lives: the belief that stray dogs are bound to attack people will force a person to be careful. There are complimentary attitudes that make you feel good, such as "Siberian health". There are annoying stereotypes, for example, that boys should be dressed in blue and girls in pink. AdMe.ru decided to recall and refute some social attitudes that are long overdue for the dustbin of history.
Elders must be respected
Respect for age came from primitive times, when the older generation was the only source of knowledge about the world around them. Now there are a huge number of such sources, and the world is changing so rapidly that the experience of previous generations is instantly outdated. And now it is not the grandmother who teaches her granddaughter to knit, but the granddaughter of the grandmother - to master gadgets and blogging.
This does not mean that elders should be treated contemptuously or condescendingly. Everyone, no matter how old they are, deserves at least polite treatment, but respect should be based on deeds, not age. It can hardly be considered worthy of this, for example, a foolish pensioner who offends his relatives, neighbors and even animals. Agree, a teenager who volunteers in a nursing home deserves much more respect.
By the way, the stereotype about obligatory respect for elders can also be dangerous. A small child who has this thesis hammered into his head, most likely, will not be able to refuse an adult, even a stranger. This means that the kid will trustingly go with an outsider uncle or aunt, whatever they tell him, because in his mind they a priori have authority.
Relationships need work
Family and love are not work or war, psychologists say. You don't have to sacrifice yourself here. In a healthy relationship, partners are not rivals, they are one team. Conflicts can occur between them, but both sides are ready to solve them. But for this you need to work not on relationships, but on yourself.
If you and your partner feel bad, the time spent with him does not bring joy, you are ignored and do not understand how they hurt you, then this is a toxic relationship that should be terminated. This does not mean that your partner is bad, you just want different things, that is, you cannot be a team. In such a union, you will not be comfortable: you will either be in the position of a victim, or in the position of a parent trying to raise an unreasonable offspring.
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Laziness is bad
Everyone at least once put off important things for later, skipped a morning run, read an interesting book instead of preparing for an exam. As a rule, after this a person experiences shame, because he went on about his own laziness. And the lazy are not respected in society, they write offensive sayings about them and call them weak-willed.
In fact, everyone has a right to be weak. If your laziness has not passed into the system, then there is nothing to be ashamed of, because it protects your body from overload. Often after rest, a person becomes more productive and suddenly finds interesting solutions to a complex creative problem. The fact is that during moments of rest in our brain, algorithms for unconscious processing of accumulated data are turned on.
"Never ask for anything, especially from those who are stronger than you."
Mikhail Bulgakov's novel "The Master and Margarita" has become the reference book of more than one generation, and the phrase of the writer "Never ask for anything, especially from those who are stronger than you" - the motto. As a result, many people are ready to infringe on themselves and their interests, just not to seek help.
But Bulgakov put these words into the mouth of a charming, but still a devil, and from evil spirits, according to any religion and folklore, it is really better not to ask for anything. But why not ask the boss for a raise, the mother - to sit for a couple of hours with the child, the passenger - to give up a seat if, for objective reasons, it is difficult for you to stand?
The great writer added in his phrase that they will give you all this yourself. But why should people have to guess what you need? Why should the boss appoint you to the vacant position of the head of the department, if you have not even shown your desire to take this chair? In the end, remember how many lives charitable foundations were able to save thanks to the fact that they did not hesitate to ask for help.
There is a man's job, and there is a woman's
Until now, professions are divided into women and men. It is believed that women are not tech savvy, and men are incapable of empathy, so caring for children and the elderly is clearly not their profile. However, neuroscience has proven that the brain is independent of gender.
Our gray matter reflects the life we lead. If a boy is presented with a Lego set and he constantly designs something from it, then, most likely, he will make a good engineer. If a girl is given dolls and is taught to play mother and daughter, then her brain will adjust to it. That is, we ourselves program gender attitudes in our children, and it is not the brain that dictates to them the propensities for a particular occupation.
If a girl with a specialized diploma goes to get a job as a programmer, and a man - as a primary school teacher, then their brain has already successfully adapted to their field of activity. However, due to stereotypes, both are at risk of being unemployed.
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Women love to gossip
Many are sure that the women's team is gossip and intrigue, and women go to work only to wash the bones of colleagues. This stereotype often plays against the fair sex when hiring.
However, scientists conducted an experiment that showed that everyone gossip in the same way, regardless of gender, and they spend not so much time on it - only about 14% of all conversations. At the same time, women's gossip is most often benevolent or neutral, while men's gossip is negative.
By the way, contrary to popular belief, older people gossip less than young people. Again, they often discuss someone in a positive way. Young people are negative. Remember this when you compare the rumor bearers to the grannies at the door.
What depressing stereotypes have you encountered?
