The article has been automatically translated into English by Google Translate from Russian and has not been edited.

6 easy solutions for worrying thoughts

Elizaveta Lubleva

Doctor of Psychology


From my personal experience of living the adaptation process in the USA, I remember how I began to experience daily bouts of fear, panic, and anxiety. It seemed that I was afraid of everything and my mind would find any reason to worry. Thoughts about possible communication in the store and at the gas station led to a state of panic. Anxiety then became my constant companion.

Фото: Depositphotos

In this article I will talk about what helped me cope with anxiety and fear, and that will definitely help you.

For most immigrants, anxiety is a very serious problem that hinders the natural process of developing a new territory of residence. Therefore, working with anxiety requires targeted and urgent measures. However, there is no “magic pill” from this state. There are no magical rituals with which you instantly get rid of anxiety forever.

Anxiety - assistant in many situations.

It is important to understand that anxiety is the natural state in which most people are in certain life situations.

Our alarming ancestors, anticipating the danger, balanced the excessive risk tendency and said: "We have never been to this territory, maybe we need to be better prepared, take more people, or just hunt in familiar territory for now."

If humanity consisted of only "risky" people, rushing to the trouble of uncertainty, then the end of humanity would not keep itself waiting. Therefore, it can be said that anxiety saves us in many situations.

The illusion of danger and the illusion of security.

Anxiety is a normal and natural evolutionary mechanism that is already millions of years old. This mechanism was formed in such a way that the person became sensitive to false-positive stimuli. When our ancient ancestor, coming out sleepy from his home, ran across a stick lying on the ground, he could take her for a snake and jump away in fear. In such a situation, the person succumbed to the illusion, but remained alive and well.

If everything happened the other way around: a poisonous snake would be lying on the ground, and a person would take it for a stick "This is not a snake, nothing to fear"then he risked being stung and lose his life.

The illusion of security can cost more than the illusion of danger. By virtue of such a mechanism, we often see danger where it does not exist or where its probability is extremely small. Our mind gives us the most terrible scenario of what is happening. You made a mistake in the weekly report and are already thinking that you will be fired, although all employees are mistaken and you are in good standing with the company.

In the modern world there are not so many direct daily threats to life. Therefore, anxiety “spreads” to everyday events, many of which are “trivial” compared with the real prospect of dying in the mouth of a predator during a hunt.

Chronic anxiety deprives us of calmness, mental strength, torments us day and night, prevents us from developing and enjoying life.

1 solution. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the basic principles of meditative practices, shifted to modern realities. Mindfulness promotes deep relaxation, assists in relieving stress and anxiety. This is the island of tranquility, which modern man needs so much, maneuvering in the flow of stress.

Basic principles of mindfulness:

  • The ability to accept any experience (emotions, thoughts) as they are, without resistance and avoidance.
  • The ability to respond to individual thoughts is just like the “thoughts” generated by the current state.
  • Skill is not involved in emotionally charged thoughts and memories. To direct attention, where you want to direct it, and not there, on which anxiety forces you to concentrate.

2 solution. Diaphragmatic breathing

When you inhale, the abdomen expands and the diaphragm shrinks, freeing up space in the chest cavity with an air-filled lung. This leads to a decrease in pressure, allowing air to pass freely into the lungs. The exhalation shifts the diaphragm back to its original position.

With shallow chest breathing, you do not free up enough space and cannot fill your lungs as fully as with deep breathing with the help of the abdomen. When doing the exercise, direct all your attention to the sensations in the stomach, feel the tension on the inhale, the feeling of compression as you exhale, any sensations in the pause between inhalation and exhalation. Try to keep attention only on these sensations. If you notice that the mind has wandered, pondered disturbing thoughts, mark it for yourself and return attention to the sensations of breathing. And do this throughout the time that you do the exercise. Diaphragmatic breathing can be performed from 3's minutes several times a day, as well as during attacks of anxiety and fear.

During anxiety, I really want to go there, to these thoughts, to somehow resolve them, to calm myself. Such an obvious and first transient tactic does not work: you dig deeper into anxious thinking. Therefore, the principle of the thumb is useful here, that is, switching attention somewhere else besides anxiety. It does not mean “distract”.

American psychologist James Carbonell in the book "Do not fall into the trap of anxiety" writes that anxiety and fear often do not bring any benefit to us and our survival. Moreover, the fact that you can allow yourself to sit and worry without doing anything else indicates that at the moment, most likely, there is no danger. Because if you had any kind of threat in front of you, you would call an ambulance, or run away from a dog, or prepare for a report tomorrow. You simply would not have time for alarm.

To help verify this, the author suggests asking yourself two questions:

  • Is there any problem now?
  • Can I change something now?

If the answer to at least one of these questions is negative, then you are most likely anxious, just sit and fantasize. Or there is no problem. If there is a problem, you can not change anything. Then why bother?

Solution 3. Do not argue with anxiety

Do not try to argue with anxiety, you still do not dispute it. The last word will always be hers: after all, anxiety exists in order to temporarily suppress the ability of normal criticism. When you worry, the limbic areas of the brain are activated, which are responsible for emotional, impulsive reactions, and the prefrontal area is suppressed. She is responsible for logic and analysis, sober assessment of the situation.

Therefore, it is not surprising that during anxiety, your mind draws the most incredible scenarios that seem absurd when anxiety goes away. Therefore, to argue with them in a state where your logical apparatus is not in the best shape is a bad idea.

Фото: Depositphotos

4 solution. Technique "Separation"

It means doing nothing with your thoughts. Not to get involved, but not to suppress. Just let them come. As soon as they come, without arguing with them, without analyzing them, just notice them and calmly transfer your attention somewhere else: to your breath, to the world around you, to what you are doing now. Don't confuse this with distraction. Distraction is when you try to get away from thoughts. Distraction is avoidance. And avoidance only reinforces the anxiety.

When you are engaged in separation, you are not trying to remove thoughts. You just do not get involved in them. If they return at the same time, you allow them to return, taking these thoughts as just thoughts, useless noise in your head. You notice these thoughts and gently translate attention. If you are engaged in meditation, you should be familiar with this principle.

5 solution. Be dismayed

Another way to work with disturbing thoughts is not to argue with them, but to argue with them, leading up to the worst scenario. This decision scares many, but that is why it is so effective. It helps to look into the face of fear, which is hidden behind disturbing thoughts. When you try to actively resist anxiety, it only enhances its effect, causes additional stress. Acceptance is the opposite of resistance.

When anxiety comes, do not resist it, do not try to suppress it, but simply let it be. It is also one of the mindfulness principles. Acceptance is also a skill that needs training. If acceptance does not work right away, you need to develop this skill.

6 solution. Accept uncertainty

The key to getting rid of anxiety is to learn the uncertainty of accepting, living with it. Realizing that anything can happen, that we are not insured against anything, that there are many dangers in life. But this does not mean that you need to tremble in front of each of them. I’m sure that the realization of many of your disturbing scenarios in your life is no more likely than an accident due to a meteorite.

All the above decisions are reduced to skills.

That is, they require training and amenable to training. I am constantly asked: "At the moment of alarm, I forget about everything, I am not up to the tech!". But everything starts to turn out only with skills training. In order to train them, we need, firstly, a “formal” practice, daily sitting meditation, and secondly, just regular use of these techniques during anxiety. If you feel that you cannot cope with anxiety on your own, if it has passed into an acute chronic stage: you fall asleep with it, wake up, it is very intense, then you should consider getting qualified help, as often chronic anxiety tends to get worse if it does not work.

Consultation with a psychotherapist is possible 24 / 7. Individually and affordable. Start right now qualitatively change your life!

Schedule an appointment

Best of luck!
Your consultant in the world of psychology Dr.Liza



Follow success stories, tips, and more by subscribing to Woman.ForumDaily on Facebook, and don't miss the main thing in our mailing list