6 changes that will happen when you stop talking in social networks about relationships
'18.04.2020'
Source: Heroine.ru
It's great to take photos with a partner, come up with funny statuses and post stories where you walk in the park. Thus, at the moment you can keep friends and family up to date with your events, and in the future you will awaken long-forgotten but pleasant memories. However, clinical psychologist and author of the book Joy from Fear, Carla Marie Manley, believes that the constant stories about what is happening in the couple are an alarming bell. The good news: the silence mode in social networks is changing the connection for the better. Heroine.ru tells exactly how.
1. You will live a moment here and now
Here you can draw an analogy with a concert. It’s one thing when you have the opportunity to film the performance of your favorite band, and then to review it. But it’s much cooler to sing along to the performers with the crowd, dance to your favorite tracks and enjoy the moment. So in a relationship. According to Manley, the time spent on social networks, you and your partner could spend much more productively: discuss plans, talk about interests, do what you love — such a pastime will significantly strengthen the emotional connection.
2. Feel the sincerity of the relationship
Living the moment, instead of coming up with another abstruse status for the post, you will realize that in this case you really feel affection for each other. At the same time, says Manley, intentionally gathering for a picnic for good photos, you’re kind of shifting energy not to get pleasure from the company, but to document “fun” in social networks. Nobody forbids taking pictures for the sake of good shots, but do not forget to spend time not with phones. It is unlikely that you will regret that you did not post a picture of breakfast for two on instagram, but very warm words that were not spoken in time.
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3. Start experiencing less stress and external pressure
Focusing on social networks, we involuntarily think about how well we display our rich inner world, whether we keep up with the trends. In fact, hiding behind ideal images and ideas about relationships, we try to match them one hundred percent and put mental health in jeopardy. Many users of social networks no longer use them to preserve memories - it is important for them to keep up with others. From the perspective of relationship expert Jonathan Bennett, by not focusing on how your relationship looks, you reduce the level of pressure created by the artificial desire to hold your face.
4. You will become closer to each other
Being in a relationship, you devote all your free time to a partner, especially at the initial stage. But nothing spoils the moment so much as surfing in the tape, instead of showing attention to the satellite in their spare time. But, according to Manley, investing in communication, we create neurobiological patterns that enhance empathy and the desire to care.
5. Everyone and everyone will not know about your relationship.
It’s important for many people to keep their personal lives private - and that's fine. You will add a few points to karma and show that the partner is your priority if, before publishing on the social network, check with him if he wants to advertise what is happening to him now. By the way, this measure will help to avoid probable negative comments about your pair.
6. You will cease to compare yourself with others
Often, ideas about how we should look, think and act come from social media. Constant comparison, according to Manley, is an unconscious mechanism, but it works against mental health and relationships. Watching feeds, especially if you follow “happy wives and caring moms”, you can see how other couples behave. Perhaps you want to bring something of their relationship into your connections. However, it's important to remember that social media posts rarely reflect the whole truth. Bloggers check the content of the profiles several times and strive to show an idealized life.
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Reality is not a Disney cartoon. Songs are not always sung in it, they love each other unconscious and give flowers. And this is natural. However, artificially high standards make us feel inferiority complex and waste our efforts on trying to achieve perfection. Refusal from frequent posting in social networks will help to stop comparing yourself with others, and therefore, to feel imperfect.
