Deciding to divorce is not easy, but there are always reasons for that. Family therapists told portal Huffpost about common reasons why men decide to put an end to relationships.
I feel unappreciated
Men like to be praised, writes Delphi... Often, a simple “Thank you!” Is enough, but women often forget about it.
“Women often make men feel underappreciated. And men begin to feel that they are not doing everything well enough, ”explains family therapist Lori Weinreich.
The husband took out the trash? Thank him and tell him that you are very pleased with his help. And then, perhaps, he will do it more often and even take up some more housework. It is important for people to know that they are valued, otherwise they lose the desire to try.
“Men and women who feel underappreciated sooner or later decide to end this relationship because it depresses them,” says psychologist Alexandra Solomon.
She spends too much money
According to psychotherapist Diana Barta, many of the men who come to her couples for counseling are unhappy with the way their spouses manage the family budget. Especially in situations where the husband earns more than the wife.
For example, a woman can spend all the family money at her discretion and considers it normal.
“Men could come to terms with this if the wife told them more often“ Thank you! ”,” Explains Barta.
To avoid quarrels over the family budget, you need to carefully plan your expenses. Decide who pays for groceries and who pays bills. If the family budget is divided and each has their own responsibilities, then the risk is reduced that one will spend little and the other a lot.
According to family therapist Antonio Borello, infidelity often becomes the main cause of divorce. This is the infidelity of the spouse, which the man is very keenly experiencing, and his own betrayal of his wife, whom he is willing to admit and end the relationship.
If someone changes in a family, then only one partner is usually blamed for this, but in reality both are to blame for this situation. Analyzing for what reason a person decides to take a step to the left, one should pay attention to the contribution to the relations of both parties.
We have nothing in common
People change over the years. The problems begin if one of the partners expects that the second person will remain the same in tens of years as he was before. It is difficult for men to accept not only changes in the appearance of their beloved woman, but also a change in her behavior and interests. As Bart stresses, one of the most important conditions for a happy marriage is the joint growth of spouses and the adoption of changes - both their own and partner.
“I often hear from men that he and his wife have no common interests. For example, he wants to go to the Caribbean and go diving, and his wife would like to relax in a luxury hotel in Paris. He wants to go to the cinema, but he cannot agree with his wife about what they will watch. These differences often lead to the collapse of relationships, ”says Barta.
Lack of sex or lack of it
Men do not always recognize this, but they also worry because of their physical attractiveness. If a man complains about the lack of intimacy, it means that he doubts whether he remains desirable for his beloved woman.
“Men feel better emotionally close to a woman if they have regular sex, while women do the opposite,” says family therapist Ryan Kenine. This is one reason why husbands and wives may have different attitudes toward sex.
As experts explain, if a couple without obvious reasons does not have sex for several weeks, months or even years, then you need to look for a deeper reason. Perhaps one of the partners is trying to say or prove something to another partner.