The article has been automatically translated into English by Google Translate from Russian and has not been edited.

Phrases that should not be said to daughters, but parents do it anyway



Since time immemorial, parents have been raising children in the spirit of “the girl is beautiful and economic, and the boy is strong and smart.” Maybe thousands of years ago this was justified, because men chased mammoths, and women guarded the hearth. But today, moms and dads continue to put useless skills that are hopelessly outdated in girls' heads.

Photo: Shutterstock

To learn about what misconceptions parents unknowingly pass on to their daughters, suggests

1. Girls do not fight and always obey adults

Compliant girls do not cause any worries and are convenient primarily for parents. However, in adulthood, an obedient girl who cannot fight back risks becoming a victim of physical or moral abuse.

Domestic violence is a disease of society. In countries where female obedience is cultivated, the level of cruelty is extremely high: 70% in India, 42% in Turkey (Russia, by the way, is not very behind). Victims put up with slap-blows and insults, because from childhood they used to obey the one who is stronger.

Any person, regardless of gender, has the right to defend his interests and, if necessary, show his teeth to the enemy. A girl will not become a rude kid if she gives up or learns to defend her point of view.

On the subject: How to protect girls from violence in personal relationships

2. The girl must be neat, otherwise nobody will marry

By default, girls are taught to be neat: they need to write smoothly in their notebooks, clean their room - and there are many more “needs”. However, neatness is not a gender quality - it is necessary to cultivate a love of order in every child, regardless of gender. A girl who is fanatically taught by her parents to wash, clean, bake pies, and in family life takes on all the household responsibilities.

As a result of numerous polls, it turned out that modern women, not only do they work full time, they also pull the entire household on themselves. Wives spend 16 hours a week cleaning up, doing laundry, doing homework with children, but husbands - only 6. Psychologists say: housework has no gender. This means that, for example, a boy should be able to clean floors, and a girl should be able to screw in a light bulb.

3. The female mindset is somehow special, so you should not go into "men's affairs"

The old tale that women are not given mathematics / physics / programming is nothing more than grandmother's tales. In fact, scientists still have not found in the brain of men any special neurons that are responsible for mathematical abilities. But girls are still afraid to learn algebra or geometry, which is supposedly not subject to the female mind. There is the fault of parents and teachers.

Jokes about a special feminine logic, driving style, stupidity in mathematics imperceptibly hit a child's self-esteem. Psychologists say that up to 6 years old, girls and boys see the world the same way and believe in themselves. But by age 7, girls think they are not smart enough to do math / build airplanes / design bridges.

Teachers and teachers a priori expect academic success from boys, while girls pay less attention. Such an attitude can affect the choice of a profession: who knows, maybe your daughter could become the second Marie Curie, if not for the condescending attitude to female mental abilities.

4. The main value of a woman is appearance

Whatever country of the world you are born in, your parents most likely told you that the boy should be strong and smart, and the girl should be gentle and beautiful. As a result, girls grow up with the thought that their main capital is appearance.

Actually, this statement has its own bitter truth. Sociologists believe that women are still greeted by their clothes. According to the survey, HR managers first of all pay attention to the applicant's makeup and hair color, and then to the business qualities. Needless to say, other criteria are applied to men?

It is clear that something needs to be done with such injustice. In the UK, for example, advertisements with gender bias such as "beautiful mom and smart dad" were banned.

Mattel (a Barbie doll maker), which has long been blamed for the unrealistically glamorous image of women, has decided to support a campaign against gender inequality. Barbie-judge, Barbie-fireman and other representatives of “non-female” professions appeared in the lineup.

5. Girls don't climb trees and don't jump in garages

Scientists have long proved that men are stronger than women: they have more muscle mass, and the muscles themselves are structured differently. But this does not mean at all that women need less physical activity.

Introducing girls to sports that are traditionally male (football, basketball) will not turn babies into bouncers. According to psychologists, such activity helps them to see their body as if from the outside and feel not only beautiful, but also strong, courageous, dexterous.

Follow success stories, tips, and more by subscribing to Woman.ForumDaily on Facebook, and don't miss the main thing in our mailing list