4 habits of spouses who gradually destroy relationships
'13.04.2019'
Source: Delphi
Marriage is a team work, each spouse must contribute to it. Partners should have common views on many things, but this is not always the case. There are differences in any pair. However, your words and behavior should not constantly hurt your partner.
Delfi woman With reference to the portal, Fatherly gives examples of the behavior of spouses, which can spoil their relationship, and gives advice on how to correct the situation.
Disagreements in the upbringing of children
When it comes to parenting, parents must follow a single action plan. For example, if mom thinks that children should not be given sweets before meals, and dad does the opposite, then they turn against each other and begin to play the role of “bad” and “good” parent for the child. If the mother sets the rules, and the father breaks them, then such upbringing also negatively affects the child - parents who do not know how to negotiate confuse him.
To avoid such a scenario, the psychologist recommends that parents compile a list of five rules together, discussing what they want to achieve with their help. You may not be able to do this the first time, but the main thing is to try to find out why it is important for you that the child observe these rules. Perhaps this is due to your childhood experience. Explain this to a partner, and perhaps he will also find these rules necessary.
Disposal of general finance at will
Family budget is one of the most sensitive topics. If one of the partners spends this money on unnecessary things that are also too expensive, then he shows disrespect for the other partner. As the psychologist notes, the habits of disposing of money in us originate in childhood. For example, if the family had the means only for the most necessary, then the grown-up child would want to allow himself more, buying something that he could do without. For many people, buying expensive personal items is associated with a sense of security. But the partner who is engaged in planning of the family budget, it can afflict strongly.
Couples should regularly discuss the financial condition of the family, taking into account all the nuances. Spouses must come to a consensus on this issue. If you want to make a large purchase, then first talk with a partner - the decisions made together will save you from unnecessary stress and disagreement.
On the subject: 10 incredible ways to become a better wife
The desire to please relatives, sacrificing the interests of the spouse
If one of the partners grew up in a very close-knit family, then upon entering into marriage he may have a desire to constantly please his relatives. In such situations, parents and sisters with brothers are often put in the forefront - the partner makes plans, not discussing them with her spouse, and relying only on the opinions of relatives. Also, a partner is often in situations where his relatives directly or indirectly offend his spouse, does not try to protect him, but instead quietly watches what is happening. It seems to such people that their duty is to please the parental family, despite the fact that they have been living an independent life for a long time.
It may happen that a spouse does not meet with the parents of the other spouse for various reasons. To avoid unpleasant moments, both partners should be aware that one of them is used to constantly pleasing their relatives. Then you can understand why he acts like that. Accept it or fight - it depends on you, says the psychologist.
Dedication of your friends to affairs that concern only you and your spouse
We can discuss many topics with friends, including those related to marital relations. Most often, we share with friends the details of his personal life when the spouse is not around. But even if these are your best friends, before devoting them to the details of your married life, consider whether it is worth it.
For example, imagine how your partner would feel if he was in the company of your friends, if he knew what you told them about his intimate problems? Even if you did this in order to get friendly advice, the disclosure of such information can greatly hurt your partner.
The psychologist advises to agree with the partner in advance on topics that are best not to be covered in the presence of friends. But if one of the partners believes that he still needs to ask his friends for advice, he must first ask permission from the other partner.
