'Mom didn't know I was alive for 30 years': the story of a girl who survived an abortion
'01.06.2021'
Source: Air force
When Melissa Ogden was 14, she found out that her mother was trying to get rid of her. The girl was saved by a nurse who heard a baby scream coming from a container of medical waste in a US hospital.
This is a story about how a child survived and about his mother, who thought he was dead, tells with the BBC.
“I knew I was born prematurely,” says Melissa Ogden on the Victoria Derbyshire program. "But the fact that death was waiting for me, not life, was a real shock."
In 1977, Melissa's 19-year-old mother decided to have a medical abortion when she was 8 months pregnant. The procedure lasted 5 days, and when Melissa was born, she weighed only 1,3 kg. The girl was placed in medical waste at an Iowa hospital. There she lay until the nurse heard her faint screams. Melissa was quickly taken to the intensive care unit - and despite everything, the girl survived.
Doctors thought she was blind and had a fatal heart disease. However, then she was adopted, and she grew up practically healthy child.
“It's incredible,” admits Melissa. "I just can't believe it."
Melissa, who wrote a book about her experience, claims to have learned that she survived an abortion when her sister in a foster family accidentally let it slip.
“You know, Melissa, at least my parents wanted me,” she blurted out during one of the fights.
At first, Melissa did not understand what she was talking about, and when she realized and talked about this with her parents, her mind could not bear it.
“I turned my pain on myself,” she explains. “There was an absolute emptiness inside. I didn't want to be myself. I got bulimia and alcohol problems. ”
This constant, unbearable pain was part of her life for the next 5 years, but in 19 years she was determined to find her own mother. The search continued for more than 10 years, but in the end Melissa found her and discovered the stunning truth.
“My mother was convinced for thirty years that I died in hospital. She was not told that I survived, - says the woman. "She didn't even know who she gave birth to - a boy or a girl."
It is for this reason that they met.
True, only three years after they began to correspond. Melissa was shocked by the “regret” in her mother's eyes, which she said had haunted her for a while. She tries to describe their first meeting: “It was absolute surrealism. One of the moments that determine future life ”.
However, the shocks continued
Her biological mother, whose name Melissa refused to name, said she did not want an abortion.
“I learned that my grandmother - her mother - was an experienced and respected nurse and the local obstetrician-gynecologist was her friend. Together, they literally forced my mother to get rid of the child against her will. They were able to get around the rules, so the hospital staff thought it was her choice. ”
It is an absolute miracle that Melissa survived because her grandmother, who worked at the hospital where she was born, told her colleagues to “leave the baby in the room to die”. She openly spoke about this to her family.
“It wasn't easy for me to live with it,” says Melissa, commenting on her grandmother's words. “But I'm not angry with her. We all make mistakes. I am very sorry for her. And I will always ask myself what made her do exactly that, what life experience? ”.
Lucky
Melissa is convinced that fortune smiled at her - first when she survived, and then - when she got both adoptive and biological parents. It so happened that Melissa, her own mother and half-sister live in Kansas City. They see each other “when time permits,” says Melissa. And he adds: "My biological family is a huge part of my life."
Seeing regret in the eyes of the mother during the first meeting, she eventually became the source of her joy.
