20 things that never make happy couples
'09.05.2019'
Source: Life hacker
Formulas of ideal relationships do not exist, however, several patterns can be found in happy alliances. This list will help you understand what you are doing wrong.
1. Do not complain about relationships with family and friends
Sometimes problems arise in relationships, but this is not a reason to discuss your lovers with strangers, writes Life hacker. By involving other people in your personal life, you risk losing the trust of your partner. Is something bothering you? Discuss this with him. Nothing brings you closer together than overcoming difficulties.
2. Do not compare themselves with others
People who are happy in a relationship accept themselves as they are. Comparing yourself or a partner with another person is a useless exercise, because the conclusions in the end are always divorced from reality. In addition, guaranteed a sense of insecurity in themselves and their relationship.
3. Do not blame the partner for their problems
Always remember that only you are responsible for your feelings and actions. No need to blame your loved one for all your troubles, and then drown in self-pity. If you do not see a way out of a difficult situation, ask for help, and do not make senseless scandal.
4. Do not take yourself too seriously
Life is full of ups and downs. And failures should not be taken as a tragedy. Learn to enjoy life. Even when it becomes difficult, look around the bright side. Spend more time together and know how to laugh at yourself.
5. Do not criticize
Believe me, not one person on this planet likes being sawed. Criticizing your partner, you only create a crack in the relationship, which over time can completely destroy them. So try to find less offensive ways to cope with annoying habits.
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6. Do not ignore the financial side of the relationship
Money problems can destroy even the strongest relationship, so solve all the issues that arise as quickly as possible. Discuss your financial goals and jointly make spending decisions. If you think that financial issues are too sensitive issues to discuss it openly, think about what a headache this may be later, if you do not solve everything now.
7. Do not try to read the thoughts of your partner
In many respects - especially long-lasting - a person begins to think that he always knows what his partner needs. True, no one can know this better than himself. The key to happy relationships is communication. The more you trust each other, the better you understand the needs of the partner. But this does not mean that you are entitled to make all the decisions for him.
8. Do not start a conversation at the wrong time
Imagine a situation: you can not wait to share your experiences and feelings. A bad time for this is when your other half is busy with something else or is going to do it. If you come with your problems at such a moment, it is likely that the partner will not understand the importance of the conversation. And you will have an unpleasant aftertaste. To probably start a conversation at the right time, just ask: "I need to talk to you, is it convenient now?".
9. Do not get hung up on their role in relationships
Each partner has several roles in the relationship. For example, based on gender stereotypes: a woman cooks, a man does other housework. Happy couples are not obsessed with this division and are always ready to perform some tasks outside their roles when necessary. For example, in your relationship a woman is preparing, but today she is delayed at work. A man should not wait for her to return and lay on the table, he is able to cook dinner for himself and for her.
10. Not negative
Do not press on your partner: he should not always do what you want. Maintain it. Motivate to make it easier to achieve big goals. Moaning and negative will not make your couple better.
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11. Do not follow tips from romantic movies
And even more so do not compare their lives with what is happening on the screen. Without a doubt, Hollywood couples look great, but happy relationships do not look like a glossy picture. These are invented images of relationships that have no analogues in real life. Happy couples never build their lives on such false notions.
12. Don't rush
Never move to a new level of relationships too quickly. Everyone wants to quickly get to the happy end of the tale, but believe me, the journey itself is much more interesting. Going to the registry office after a week of acquaintance is, of course, romantic, but in most cases this rush does not lead to a happy ending.
13. They do not expect relations to solve all problems at once.
Of course, happy relationships add joy to your life, but don't expect it to automatically solve all your problems. No one else can change your life for the better in an instant. All this you must do yourself. Solve problems, not bring them into your relationship.
14. Don't expect to be a couple - it's easy
Long-term relationships are wonderful, but they are easy for few people. Think of problems as opportunities to grow and strengthen relationships in your couple. To be together, you need to make an effort.
15. No doubt
You will not lose anything if you sincerely love another person. But you can lose a lot if you hold back and don’t invest in 100% relationships. To feel happier next to another person, you need to learn to trust without further ado and not be afraid that he may hurt you. A happy relationship is when you completely trust your partner, and he trusts you.
16. Do not keep secrets from a partner
Stealth is another common cause of ruptures. Trust is a rather delicate and fragile thing, and it is also very easy to lose. Therefore, do not keep secrets from your partner. The understatement is the same as a lie. And a lie never brought anything good.
17. Not afraid to admit who they are
There is nothing better than the realization that you are loved because you are you. In a relationship, there is no place for the desire to change another person. If you cannot be accepted as you are, you will not be happy.
18. Don't live past
Wake up, the past has passed, and nothing has changed. Yes, your partner also had a past, and even if you do not like it, nothing can be done about it. Deal with this fact and move on. Together, look to the future and don’t remember what came before you.
19. Do not focus on the shortcomings of the partner
Everybody has them, but there is no need to remind another person of their existence every five minutes. Think of its positive qualities, and all the flaws will seem insignificant. When you look for the good in people, you find the good in you too.
20. Do not wait for anything in return
To maintain a happy relationship, you need to be able to give, without demanding anything in return. Do something special for your partner so that he feels happy. If you strive to give, not take, then you will feel happier.
