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15 signs that your relationship is failing

'21.02.2020'

Source: Life hacker

No one promised that a relationship is easy. But this does not mean that meeting or living with another person should resemble endless hell. To know when it's time to quit, and when to move on, is the key to emotional survival, writes Lifehacker.

Фото: Depositphotos

While we are not 200% sure that the relationship has ended, we continue to believe in them. This is understandable, because for several years (or months) we are so attached to a person, we can say we “grow” into him, that it is very painful to part. It’s clear that you are trying to maintain a relationship: there is always hope that they will change for the better.

Not everyone has the courage to destroy relationships at a time when they really ended. Here are 15 signs that “finita la comedy”, if not yet come, is already very, very close. If at least four points out of all you say: “This is about us,” then think about breaking up more seriously than usual.

1. Resentment

You are constantly offended by your partner, but do not say anything. You think that in this way you maintain your relationship, but in reality you only delay that unpleasant moment when all the accumulated negativity breaks out and your connection ends in a painful gap.

Resentment does not go anywhere, especially if the factors that cause it do not disappear. If it does not splash out, it means that it accumulates inside, and this causes stress and illness. Well, of course, it ruins the relationship - slowly but surely.

2. Contempt

If you and your partner have reached the point where you show mutual disrespect, it's time to destroy your illusions. There is nothing easier than to stop being attached to someone who shows disrespect to you.

People can continue to live together without respect and awareness of each other's values, which leads to an absolute nonsense about the needs and desires of a partner. Well, what kind of continuation can we talk about?

3. Contempt

It doesn’t matter what motives have caused contempt, whether it was a failed career, a change in appearance, or something else. Partners should support each other in any situation, because isn't that warmly so necessary for us in any circumstances, and especially during some personal problems.

If you began to treat each other with contempt, you no longer receive warmth from the relationship and you live not with a friend who understands, but with a cold being who condemns you, why continue this?

4. Lies

That is a lie when you say to a person: “I love you,” without experiencing any feelings. You are afraid to injure him, but you are not really protecting him, but you are only doing worse. The truth will come out: you can’t lie all your life and at the same time do not spoil it yourself and your partner.

Well, if you say to yourself: “We are happy, I am happy, everything is fine with us”, when you feel that everything has already ended for you, it’s also an escape from reality.

5. Distrust

If you do not trust a partner, then there are reasons for this. If they are so serious that trust cannot be returned, why stay with this person? All my life to check, worry and waste my nerves?

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6. Swearing in public

All the good that you can say about your partner can be said in public. And all the bad is better left for personal conversations. To scold a person in public means to achieve only a negative response or a hidden resentment.

In addition, if you scold the partner in public or even just allow yourself unpleasant jokes about him, it means that dissatisfaction is growing inside, which has already begun to splash out.

7. Separation

If you are often looking for a way to stay away from your partner and consciously try to avoid contacts and intimacy, it's time to get rid of it. You have already broken the emotional connection with the partner and thus gently let him know that it is all over. Perhaps it is better to do it right away, and not to cause suffering and doubt?

8. Public humiliation

If your partner humiliates you in society once, with a high probability he will do it again and again. And it doesn’t matter that he drank a lot that evening or that he was in a bad mood.

Public humiliation of a partner speaks only of deep self-hatred, and no matter how much love you give to this person, this will not correct the situation without his firm desire to change and work with your self-esteem. And this is difficult not only to fix, but even to admit.

9. Inability to end the conflict

It begins as an endless struggle without consensus, which gradually develops into “whatever you want,” when partners no longer care about the results of their struggle.

There is a rule: never go to bed offended by each other. And there is definitely something in it.

If none of the partners can pacify their pride and desire to always be the winner in the dispute, cannot go to a truce without achieving their goal, this relationship has no continuation.

10. Obsession

If your partner has an obsession, for example, with alcohol or substances, he / she is a shopaholic, a player, a workaholic or obsessed with sex, you will always be in second or even fifth place and will not get the emotional connection that you would like.

If you don’t have an obsession with anything, your partner’s addiction can destroy not only his life, but also yours. Not a very pleasant prospect.

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11. Painful attachment to ex

If your partner still maintains more than close relations with a former passion or husband / wife, this destroys the relationship.

Former partners need to be respected, especially if you have common children, but the current partner still plays the first role. If this does not happen, it is easy to feel secondary and unnecessary, and this is a direct path to breaking.

12. Threats and emotional blackmail

This is a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship. Emotional blackmail is often portrayed as strong love, but in reality it is control. And control, in turn, is an abuse of feelings. From this you have to run as far as you see.

13. Constant comparison and ratings

Does your partner compare you with those who look more attractive, earn more, smarter and more interesting than you? This is a form of humiliation. If someone thinks that in a strange yard the grass is greener, let him go there.

Humans are unique creatures, albeit in many respects similar. You should not compare yourself, let alone listen to it from your partner.

14. Indifference

Why stay together if you don't care about each other? There is nothing wrong with wanting a roommate, but if you want more from a relationship, do not stay with a partner who is not the only one for you. Do not stay simply because you are comfortable.

15. Physical abuse

There are no excuses, no explanations, circumstances and promises do not matter. Just have to leave.

In general, conflicts in relationships are a way to get rid of pain, but their causes may vary. This may be a way to reveal the abscess of dissatisfaction and resentment that arose in a relationship, to clean up the wound, remove what is in the way, and save the relationship.

But it happens differently when conflicts are a way to break off relations, to tell another person that they have ended, that you should no longer torment each other.

And it’s better to learn to distinguish one conflict from another, otherwise both partners will be hurt and ill.

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