10 Proven Ways to Meet America
'11.12.2019'
Source: Jana Anders
For any woman who wants to get married and start a family, sooner or later an urgent question arises: where to find the right man? Not a man suitable for her for one night or for some non-binding short-term relationship - she can find this for herself in any bar, but a man suitable for a long-term serious relationship, and, possibly, subsequent marriage, writes Jana Anders on the livejournal.com authoring blog.
I would like at the very beginning to define what exactly we, women, mean by the expression “suitable man”. In my opinion, the best definition of such a man, suitable "for constructive relations", was given by Bridget Jones, the heroine of the book Helen Fielding. In the words of Bridget, this is “a mature, responsible man who is not on any of the following lists: alcoholics, workaholics, moral impotent people, people with girlfriends or wives, women haters, megalomans, chauvinists, powders of brains or gigolos, perverts”.
Many different articles have already been written about where in Moscow to meet a decent man. But about the places where American women are looking for men, readers may not know very much. That's why I decided this article to clarify the situation and tell about where it is customary to meet men in America.
So:
1. Online dating
The most popular type of dating for Americans in the past few years has been online dating. In America, as well as in Russia, there is a huge number of dating sites that allow you to post your photos, video and detailed information about yourself on the Internet.
2. Acquaintance through friends
The advantage of this type of dating is that you have the opportunity to learn more from your friends about the person they recommend to you before you meet with him, which makes communication much easier, especially on a first date. The main disadvantage of dating through friends is the fact that you and your friends may have completely different ideas about who is a worthy bridegroom for you.
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3. At work
This type of dating is becoming less and less popular in America, because, according to the Sexual Harassment Law, any signs of attention at work with respect to the opposite sex can be considered actions of a sexual nature. Flowers, gifts, phone calls, compliments, emails, sms, ambiguous jokes - all this can be regarded as sexual harassment, which will inevitably lead to the dismissal of the employee, giving signs of attention, and, quite likely, the subsequent trial.
Now, when it is considered unprecedented luck to have a well-paid stable job, men are so afraid of losing their place that at work they simply forgot how to react to women. The men I see in our office in America every day remind me of the heroes of the movie "There are only girls in jazz" - two guys who got a job in a female jazz orchestra and posing as female musicians who, trying to suppress their sexual desires , repeat to themselves, like a mantra: "I am a girl, I am a girl!".
4. At school or at university
I know in America a few married couples who met at school or at an institute, but they all belong to a generation that is now about 50-60 years old. Nowadays, Americans marry at an increasingly mature age. For the first time, getting married in 35 years and having a first child in 38 for an American is now considered the norm. People change, develop and “grow” out of their school or institute novels; therefore, relationships that are tied up at school or at an institute, are increasingly falling apart and do not lead to marriage.
5. Meeting at a public event
In America, all sorts of social events are very popular: gala dinners, dinners and parties in various places. This may be a meeting of a charitable society, a party at a club of book lovers, a professional conference or the grand opening or closing of a cultural event. Unlike Russians, Americans easily come into contact with strangers. In America, it is customary to talk to strangers in public places (in a restaurant, in transport, in a store), this is perceived by others as something completely natural and non-binding.
The advantage of dating at a public event is that you can nicely chat with a person, not considering yourself obliged to continue the started acquaintance. The same circumstance is at the same time a disadvantage of dating on this kind of get-togethers.
According to Hearst Communications, Inc., a media company, according to a survey of American dating services, eHarmony and Harris Interactive, among 10.675 men and women who have married in America in the last some years:
- 19.4% newlyweds met online
- 17.2% met their future chosen one (darling) through friends
- 17.2% met their love at work
- 8.8% studied together at school or at college
- 8.3% met at a party or at a public event.
And where did the other 29% meet?
Here are a few less traditional and even sometimes unexpected places to explore:
6) In the church
You are probably surprised by the fact that the vast majority of Americans are very religious, especially in the South and Midwest of America. If I go to the store on Sunday morning and see smartly dressed people of all ages walking in the same direction, I know for sure: they go to church. Americans (both women and men) go to church as if they were on a holiday: they put on the best that they have - bright dresses, expensive suits, high heels, fashion accessories, and even hats.
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It seems that they are not going to church to talk with God, but to a fashionable party - to show themselves and to look at others. In fact, the way it is: the church in America (unlike the Russian Orthodox Church) is, first of all, a place of fellowship, and only then - services. Therefore, acquaintance in the church is very popular in America.
7) At a sports match
It is enough to live in America for a couple of months to understand that there are two main religions in America: religion (in the traditional sense of the word) and American football. American football, with its ubiquitous presence - in the form of billboards in the streets, in the form of posters in public places, on television in restaurants and bars, in the form of stickers on car bumpers and in the form of banners and flags on neighboring houses - fills so much space. that it is impossible to run away from him. In terms of its popularity, the frenzied excitement of fans and idolatry, the passion for American football is very reminiscent of religious fanaticism.
Therefore, when she comes to a football match, a woman can easily talk to the man she likes (after having watched him and determined which team he is ill with) and the rest of the match to be ill with him. Joint emotional excitement about winning or losing your favorite team, as you know, bring them closer together. The disadvantage of this type of dating is that few women are able to endure the deafening roar of football fans around themselves for four hours and, moreover, it is difficult to determine who is married and who is free at a sports match.
8) On courses
All kinds of courses are very popular in America: foreign language courses, courses for beginner dog breeders, culinary courses, courses for amateur gardeners, courses for spiritual self-improvement, meditation, psychology, photography, - you can not list everything. Americans get to know each other on courses usually very easily, because any course is a meeting place for people who share common interests, which means they have something to talk about.
9) In the fitness club
It probably seems to you that in the fitness club - flushed, with drops of sweat on your face and wet hair - you look completely unattractive. But, oddly enough, to many men with whom I spoke, this kind of looks very sexy. Especially if a woman is in good sports form and is dressed in something tight (perfect bright shirt and shorts are perfect). My girlfriend met her boyfriend at a sports club: they attended kickboxing classes together.
Any fitness club is usually full of energetic young people of an athletic physique, many of whom play games with excitement or exercise with a trainer. If you take part in the same games or practice with the same coach, then finding a topic for the first conversation will not be difficult for you. In addition, if you visit this club as regularly as he does, you will have the opportunity to gradually get to know each other.
10) In line
Yes, yes, imagine, in America, too, there are queues! There are very few of them, and they move amazingly fast. The best place to meet is the line at a self-service cafe. It is important to choose a cafe in which men like to go. In America, for example, a network of Mexican cafes is very popular among men, perhaps because there you can eat something hearty: a quesadilla or a burrito with meat, beans and cheese.
The queue at such a cafe is a great place to meet, especially if you often go to this cafe during your working day for lunch. "What, in your opinion, is the most delicious in this cafe?" or "Have you ever tried this dish?" - Quite pertinent questions to start a conversation.
