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10 phrases to say to your child instead of 'Well done'

'07.11.2018'

Source: Chips journal

Learning from teachers Montessori

Фото: Depositphotos

According to the theory of Montessori educators, the traditional “Well done!”, Abandoned by a child, carries with it an assessment of its actions, a kind of judgment. In fact, the purpose of praise is to make the child feel more confident and inspire further action. To do this, you can use these 10 phrases:

“Wow, you've been working on this for a long time!”

When a child brings you to show a drawing or construction from a constructor, try to focus your attention not on the result, but on the process. Let the child understand that you have noticed how much work he invested in this craft. This will give him the feeling that the process and the efforts made are more important than the result.

“What did you like to do most of all about?”

By asking neutral, non-judgmental questions, you will let the child understand that he is the only one who can judge the quality and appearance of his work. Do not you decide, it is good or not, and he, her creator. The child understands: any creative activity he needs in order to enjoy the process, and not to please adults and get praise.

“What do you like most about this job?”

Let the child himself become his own critic. Show him that his own creativity can be analyzed, reflecting on what could have been done differently, what skills to acquire in order to make it even better. Creativity is a process of self-development, not a race for praise.

“Tell me what you drew here.”

Often, bringing us another craft or drawing, children do not seek praise - they just want to discuss it. Often they don't even need our assessment. So just ask the child about what is shown in the picture, and give him a chance to tell!

"Wow, why did you choose these particular colors, tell me"

If the child is already over 3 years old, you can ask more specific questions. Ask why he chose these particular colors or in this way decided to combine the constructor blocks. Show that you are really interested in his creative process!

“You worked out the details so carefully!”

If the child still expects praise, do not just say “Well done!” - praise something specific. For example, pay attention to how many interesting details are in the picture or how carefully each corner of the sheet is painted over. This will show the child that you really paid attention to his work, and not just dismissed traditional praise.

“You really helped me! / Thanks for the help!"

If the child decides to take the cup to the sink or open the door in front of us or fold the clothes into the laundry basket, it must be noted. And it is better to let him know that these actions were seriously useful to us, it was a real help! Make your child feel like an important part of the family. Let him put the cup crookedly, and the linen fell to the floor - it does not matter, he seriously wanted to help you, and this should be noted.

“Wow, you yourself got dressed today and we can safely finish breakfast, it's great!”

Focus on successes, not failures. It would seem that he dressed himself - a great thing, in four years, it's time! But no, the child tried, and his efforts should be noted. Moreover, he should see the consequences of his positive efforts - they definitely need to be spoken about. He dressed himself - there is extra time left for a morning cartoon or a game with mom.

“Your sister likes it so much when you read this book to her.”

If a child is kind to someone, it must be emphasized. Pay their attention to how well other people become in these moments. “Your friend was so pleased when you let him ride his bike!”, “Your younger sister was delighted when you taught her to water the plants from a watering can!” We so often explain to children what they were wrong about and never celebrate their positive behavior. But this is the most important thing!

"You removed all the toys from the floor, what order!"

Mark the specific action, do not stamp everything faceless "Well done!". It is really important for a child to feel that his efforts are appreciated.

It often seems to us that the constant “Well done!” Is already enough for the child to grow up in an atmosphere of approval and acceptance. But over time, this word depreciates, because the child understands that, most often, adults throw him away, sometimes without even looking at the drawing or neatly folded things. Stop, pay attention to your child, discuss with him his crafts, the idea, a good deed. After all, the more we talk about the good, the more it becomes around.

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